


social sites

by sakturen



Series: Peach Scone [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst with a Happy Ending, Daddy Kink, Dom/sub Undertones, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends With Benefits, Jealous Harry, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2019-11-05 15:47:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17921753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakturen/pseuds/sakturen
Summary: If you asked Harry, he also didn’t have any idea what the hell they were doing, it felt like he was losing Louis and what they had little by little. A naive part of him always thought they would end up together but the truth was, their timing was never right, and they kept dancing in a weird limbo of want and longing.It worked until it was only Harry watching Louis dance with someone else. It worked until it didn’t.





	1. I. Thick and Thin

**Author's Note:**

> So... i'm back. 
> 
> If you read my last fic (i'm SO sorry) and read the last author's notes u might be asking yourself what the fuck am i doing here when i specifically said that was my first and last fic ever. WELL, I don't even know how to justify myself. I just know i needed to write this or else i'd be really sad.
> 
> Thanks to Chafi and Lottie for always cheering me up, even when i wanted to throw the whole fic away. And thanks to Brandi who isn't just the beta of this fic and the person who basically started it all (want to blame someone blame her tbh) but my best friend. Thank u bb, i love u so so much.
> 
> The title is from a Cosmo Pyke's song. 
> 
> This is a sequel but can also be read as a stand alone.
> 
>  **Warning Spoilers:** This fic will include at some point the begining of a foursome, but nothing actually happens so I wasn't sure if it was necessary to tag. I think is important to clarify this will have a larry endgame.

**Part One: Harry**

**I. Thick and Thin**

“I think—I think I’m done with all of this...”

 

If anyone told Harry Styles this time last year that he would be sat with a new bandmate searching ways to end things with Louis Tomlinson, he would’ve laughed or punched them right in the face. He isn’t entirely sure when or how it happened, but he could feel it in his bones. It’s over and he couldn’t do anything about it.

 

“You _think_?” he heard Mitch chuckle, Harry hated him for finding something funny in all their mess. “Not to be rude, mate, but I think you aren’t the only one who is done with _‘all of this’.”_

 

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” If the room wasn’t tilting to one side, Harry would’ve loved to confront Mitch up close. How dare he laugh at him, in his own house while drinking his very own booze. All of it was quite disrespectful. “I _am_ done, tired of it all.”

 

“I think the only thing you’re tired of is sharing your boy.”

 

“ _My_ boy? He’s not property to _own_ , Mitchell, for god’s sake. _My boy_.” Louis really wasn’t, that was one of the biggest issues. Because Harry never saw him as something to own but more as something to belong with. But he wasn’t _his boy_ , at least not anymore. At this point, he didn’t even know if he was his friend. Harry was _so_ done.

 

“Oh stop it, you know what I meant. You’re just being pissy because Mr. “Rock ‘n’ Roll was hibernating until I came in” took Louis home and the only thing you got was a good night text.”

 

Harry scoffed loudly.

 

That was the first time he noticed how odd shaped was Mitch’s head. His poor brain probably felt suffocated trying to adjust to it, no wonder why he always spoke so much nonsense. Brain. Cells. Dying. That’s how his voice sounded, it was all clear now.

“Stop talking rubbish, this isn’t about that,” Harry knew his voice sounded a bit slurred, but it was mostly because he was tired… of it all, that’s it. “I have a girl now, I feel things for her—“

 

Before he could finish that sentence, Mitch was barking an obnoxiously loud laugh that made Harry’s ears hurt and head throb, watching that literal dumbass spill red wine in his favorite couch.

 

“You idiot, that’s a Monroe Tufted sofa!”

 

“Shush shush,” he waved a hand completely dismissing Harry’s outrage. “We all know you have girls _and_ boys, but you funnily enough only have them when Louis isn’t available.” Mitch said while barely tried to clean Harry’s very beautiful couch. “How... convenient.”

 

“You know what’s convenient?” Harry said as he struggled to stand so he could make his grand departure, he would’ve totally done that if the house wasn’t swaying. ‘ _Stupid smart houses...’_ “The way you just drank three and a half bottles of _my_ most expensive wine while calling me a liar and ruining my sofa, you bald asshole.”

 

“Sure, but you know this _bald asshole_ , is completely correct.” He now was sprawled in Harry’s red wine stained couch with his shoes on, almost half sleep.

 

Harry should definitely kick him out, but first, he needed to send a good night text to Louis— or better yet call him, just in case he wanted to hear his voice, he probably wouldn’t answer anyways but he should at least try. Louis picks up at the third ring.

 

So much for being _“done”_ with Louis Tomlinson.

 

\---

 

You know those blissful first seconds before you're fully awake and your mind still hasn’t caught up with the mess that is your life, that are just peace and quiet? Well, Harry didn’t even get that that morning because even before he woke up, his head was pounding, and he felt like something rotten had crawled up inside his mouth, and was nesting there. Then, he remembered his conversation with Mitch and his call to Louis.

 

_‘Fuck, Louis’_

Harry was starting to remember bits and pieces of the phone call while he desperately tried to find his phone. Cold and panic traveled through all his body, what did he exactly said. He was so pissed last night, in almost all the ways possible.

 

“There you are,” Harry found his phone lying on the floor on the other side of the room. That wasn’t a good sign. He quickly picked it up and rung Louis with no response. He tried again, and again, his mind was spiraling as he thought up the worst scenarios when Louis _finally_ picked up.

 

“Hi baby,” Harry _knew_ how scared he sounded, very tremulous and pitched high. He cringed internally.

 

Louis didn’t reply to him for a few seconds and Harry thought he just simply hung up, but then he heard an icy, “Thought you were done with me, _baby_ ,”

 

_‘Well, fuck.’_

“Kitten, I was really drunk last night—“

 

“Don’t _kitten_ me right now,” His voice sounded a bit rough and tired, like if he was crying _. ‘Or sucking cock—no, don’t go there.’_ “And don’t use that as an excuse, you said so yourself, it wasn’t just the alcohol, you said you’ve been feeling like this for months now, that you’re tired of this, of… _me_.”

 

Harry began searching for his car keys, he knew he had to see him, he needed to explain to Louis that he could never be tired of him, that he was the most important person in his life, and he knew the only way Louis would listen, truly feel and believe him, was while Harry held him or fucked him senseless.

 

He was about to say as much when he suddenly heard a voice in the background. _Alex’s_ voice. “Are you coming back to bed, gorgeous?”

 

And while Harry could never feel tired of Louis, he _was_ getting tired of the other man and the situation in general. He was so _very_ tired.

 

“Go on, you don’t want to keep him waiting.” Harry’s words come out _hostile_ , _distant_ — He just can’t help it.

 

 “Aren’t—” Louis hesitated for a bit. “Aren’t you going to apologize for being a jerk to me last night?” His voice was hardly a whisper, but he sounded somehow sure and all Harry’s insides feel as if they were burning. Nothing felt right, _nothing_.

 

“Can you please forgive me?” He knew how empty he sounded, he was expecting Louis to call him out on his bullshit, he needed Louis to snap at him, he needed _something_.

 

“I’d do it when or if I feel like it.” Then, he hung up.

 

Harry held his phone to his ear for god knows how long, processing what had just happened. It was then when he had realized he never corrected Louis about his doubts, he never told him how much he will always need and love him, no matter how many people he dates or even if he falls in love with someone else. He will always be _it_ for Harry.

 

It was way too late, anyways.

 

\--

 

Harry can’t remember the last time he felt this lost, and the worst part was the only person who could make him feel better, didn’t want to speak with him anymore. He shook his head after a moment, he couldn’t keep going like that, it wasn’t healthy, for him or Louis.

 

Years ago, he made a silent deal with himself. No matter how things were looking, Louis’ happiness and well-being should be one of his priorities, and he was failing it awfully. He was fully aware he was being selfish but couldn’t help but think how unfair the situation was. How he should be the one waking up beside Louis asking him to come back to bed for morning sex, the one making him breakfast, the one listening to his songs, just… _the_ one.

 

He slowly got up, he needed to wash away all his pent-up tension, nothing that a quick shower couldn’t fix, he just needed that; a quick warm shower. There, he roughly soaped himself letting the hot water relax his muscles with not much success. He let his hands travel down his body until it reached his soft cock. He really tried not to think about Louis but as soon he stroked his shaft a few times, he was picturing his jiggly ass all slippery and soapy rubbing against Harry’s thick heavy cock.

 

It was almost like a Pavlovian reaction, he felt a burst of pure lust at the simple thought of both of them showering while Harry cleaned delicately his last night cum out of Louis’ ass, with no other worries than grocery lists and new ways to teach Louis’ how to bake his favorite desserts. Harry repeated again to himself that he just needed to take Louis out of his system one more time, and while he came with his name in his mouth, he never felt less cool.

 

In the kitchen, he saw Mitch eating cereal and looking like hell.

 

 “Rough night?”

 

“You have no idea,” Harry said, grabbing an empty coffee mug. “Things with Louis are done for real.”

 

He saw Mitch stop slurping his food. _‘Thank god.’_ He looked shocked for a few seconds, but then rolled his eyes and said “Alright.”

 

“I mean it, we talked last night, it’s really over.”

 

“So,” He said while _still_ chewing his cereal. Harry furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed crumbs of food landing on his marble countertop. “You talked while you were pissed, and he was probably dropping because skinny boy doesn’t know how to proper dom him— _your_ words, not mine. Don’t even start with your macho alpha bullshit, my head hurts.”

 

“I don’t think he was dropping, they don’t go that far. He treats him ‘ _good_ ’, I treat him _right_.” Harry _really_ didn’t want to think about them together.

 

Mitch scrunched his nose, “I really don’t get what the fuck you’re doing.”

 

If you asked Harry, he also didn’t have any idea what the hell they were doing, it felt like he was losing Louis and what they had little by little. A naive part of him always thought they would end up together but the truth was, their timing was never right, and they kept dancing in a weird limbo of want and longing.

 

It worked until it was only Harry watching Louis dance with someone else. It worked until it didn’t.

 

“It’s just… it isn’t working anymore.”

 

“And when it stopped working? When you realized you didn’t want or couldn’t have what you have with Louis, with anyone else?” Mitch got up and went to wash his dishes. “What are you afraid of?”

 

“I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

 

“Well, mate, I have some new for you. Good thing is, right now it seems you have nothing to lose.”

 

Harry knew that as much as he hated to hear that, he was right. From all the years they knew each other this was the longest they have been without each other. Lately, they were barely speaking, and he can perfectly pin point when things started to change. He wishes he could just go back in time to make things right on that night.

 

He remembers the thrill, the chase, the flirting, it was intended to rile Louis up, to get him to make a move, to come for Harry. They both were single at the time, it was the perfect moment, _their_ moment, but things were never quite so easy for them.

 

_“Wanna take me home?”_

_He felt the boy grinding his ass close to his crotch, it supposed to be enticing, but his mind was focused on the fact that Louis wasn’t looking at him anymore, too busy talking with a boy in a dark corner. He saw no point on keep prolonging things with the stranger. Their game wasn’t meant for just one person, and Harry hated to play alone._

 

_“Another day, yeah?” Harry detached himself from him. He might have heard the stranger complain but he was already focused on get to Louis, everything else was just white noise._

_He saw from afar that Louis was laughing about something the boy besides him was saying, it looked genuine, a real laugh. He quickened his steps, he needed to see the person making Louis react like that, that laugh was Harry’s, something wasn’t right._

_Up close, he could see the guy besides Louis was no other than Alex Turner, Arctic Monkeys’ Alex Turner, Louis’ favorite musician, Alex Turner. Harry was so fucked._

_Alex looked alright, nothing really special. But to be fair, any bloke looked ordinary besides Louis, even duller besides a happy one. He just looked so bloody gorgeous in every line and angle, watching him like that almost hurt.  Harry was tempted to stay where he was, body and mind conflicted with how much he loved to see Louis this happy and how much he hated not being the one making him feel like that._

_As if he sensed his presence Louis eyes immediately find his, drink stilled mid-air, eyes running down slowly all Harry’s body, from his neck to his now hardening bulge. He felt the pull, a fire igniting inside his body and he just wanted more. The beginning of a small genuine smile bloomed on Louis face, Harry knew exactly what he had to do._

_“Do you want to go back home, babe?”_

Things didn’t go as planned that night, they were supposed to leave early and have a long night together at Harry’s house, Louis full of him. Instead, just like this night, Louis also left with the other man and Harry with a blonde boy that he ended up seeing for almost 2 months.

 

“If I’m wrong and you _do_ want to stay away from him, why don’t you just cut all ties?” He faintly heard Mitch say, pulling him out of his daze. “You at least have to accept there’s something about him you just can’t be away from.”

 

“It’s him, there’s no mystery or science behind it. I’m not denying that, I want and love him. When it’s good, it’s really good, and fuck— the shittiest part is, between Louis and I, it’s almost always _so_ good.

 

Mitch looked at him with amusement. “And if you know that, and I know that and your mother knows that… what the fuck are you still wallowing your pain here? Why aren’t you— I don’t know, doing something.”

 

“Because he has clearly moved on.” Harry snapped at his friend, feeling a bit hopeless. “And the worst part is, everyone keeps track of everything now and you can always see what’s going on even when you don’t want to.” He continued, voice still a bit sharp. He hated to think about that, about how he was a click away from seeing Louis with _him_ , a click away from messages on different platforms supporting them. Not when Harry should be the one in those pictures.

 

“He moved on and I need to do the same, but at the same time, I miss my best friend. Not even the sex, just him, his laugh at 3am after a night of inside jokes and long conversations.” He saw Mitch nodding with a faint look of pity in his face. “I don’t want to find out what he’s doing on the internet. I want to know from him, even if what he’s doing at the moment is falling in love with someone else.”

 

“Then, tell him this.” Mitch shrugged, as if he was the simplest thing in the world. Harry wanted to kick him out of his house again.

 

“It’s not that simple. I know Louis, and if I told him all of this right now he would think I’m just jealous.”

 

“Aren’t you?” Harry was ready to snap at him again but Mitch kept going. “No, hear me out. Who cares if he thinks that? You _are_ jealous, just like he’s jealous, everyone knows that. So, embrace it. If you keep going like this you will lose him, for real.”

 

“I thought you said I already lost him.”  Harry replied, voice sounding hollow, even to his own ears.

 

“Don’t play dumb, you know damn well you’ve still got a chance,” Mitch said while grabbed a bag of chips out of his pantry. “You’re both are still going to that birthday party tonight, right?”

 

“Yeah, I guess so.”

 

“Perfect, then talk to him tonight,” He said determined. “You should start paying me for these little therapy sessions, I’m quite good at this.”

 

Harry threw a tangerine at him and left the kitchen. He needed to start getting ready for the party.

 

\---

 

As the hours went by, Harry grew more and more anxious. He didn’t exactly know why because it was just Louis, the same old Louis that probably was the love of his life and had a huge fight with last night and didn’t stand to talk with Harry this morning. He was so utterly screwed.

Harry frowned at the chaos that was his room, clothes tossed all over the place. He definitely needs to tidy up if he wants to bring Louis home... to talk. He just needed that, to talk to him, and what better place than his room where some of Louis’ favorite things were, like one of the blankets his mom made for him, the huge painting of him that Harry “jokingly” made and framed and never failed to make him smile, his 24K butt plug, and hopefully still… _Harry_.

 

He knew in reality, his chances were very slim, that Louis was going to ignore him for the first few hours and taunt him the rest, showing him what he can’t have. He was aware of all of this as much as he was of how petty and cruel he acted this morning. They almost never fought and when they did, it was never cruel, never like this. Feeling a bit sick at the realization, he grabbed his phone and went to his “good morning” folder. Even in the hardest of the days, this was the only thing that made him calm, a bit happy.

 

“Good morning,” the video started with a visibly grumpy Louis, ruffled hair, pouty mouth and slight frown sat on Harry’s bed. This was one of his favorite videos. “I just wanted to tell you that even though, I’m so very mad at you right now, this has nothing to do with you, Harry from the future,” he saw Louis looking at his right for a few seconds with a faint smile on his face. “I miss you and I want you _so_ bad and I know you probably need this right now, so save this for a really hard day,” Harry’s cock involuntary gave a little twitch, already knowing what was coming. He loved that boy so much. “I’m going to suck you right now, but this is only for you, alright?” Louis said directly looking at the camera as he crawled under the covers.

 

\--

 

_Harry woke up to a wet, warm, very lovely mouth in his dick._

_“Fuck, baby—” Harry sucked his breath, hand reaching for Louis’ soft hair while he swirled his tongue around the head of his cock, humming happily._

_He suddenly felt him swallowing him whole with zero finesses but all the willingness. Harry loved the way Louis eagerly tried to fit his whole dick inside his pretty mouth, as if he was hungry for it. Never caring how much he always struggled for a bit at first, looking like his biggest award in that moment was to feel Harry’s thick cock filling his throat. ‘My perfect boy.’_

_Harry could feel and hear him choking and whining desperately. He was about to lift his hand from his head when he felt the weight of Louis’ hands on his own, making Harry push himself further down Louis’ throat. He used his other hand to slightly pull his earlobe to express what he couldn’t with words._

_‘Are you sure?’_

_Louis grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard. Harry tried to take the covers off to see Louis’ eyes, just to be completely sure he was okay, but Louis didn’t let him. He instead kept making needy noises and Harry knew he had to let go. He needed to give his boy what he needed._

_He tightly grabbed a fistful of Louis’ hair and shoved him all down to the base of his cock. He could feel Louis’ spit soaking his balls, soft lips finally touching them. He was making Louis taking it all, loving every single second of it. Harry then began to move Louis’ head up and down around his cock, he had all the control, Louis was giving him that._

_The thought of Louis trusting him to take care of him fully while he let Harry fuck his throat almost made him come. He couldn’t let that happen, he needed to fill him up, just in a different hole._

_“Daddy no,” Louis cried loudly after Harry pulled him from his cock, voice completely wrecked. Harry was about to fuck him so hard._

_Harry dragged Louis’ tiny body out from under the covers until he saw his clear blue eyes looking directly at him. “I need to fuck you, princess,” He hoarsely said while stroking Louis’ face gently, “You’re so beautiful and I need you so fucking bad.”_

_It was then when he saw Louis’ holding something with one hand, he was holding a phone, his phone. “Fuck,” Harry moaned loudly, he knew what this was. This was for him._

_It started as a joke, the good morning videos. Harry remember vividly the first time he recorded Louis with his phone ‘Come on, petal, say good morning, so I don’t miss you so much while I’m on tour.’ And Louis easily obliged with a spark in his eyes. Somehow, he knew the “joke” wasn’t really a joke so he not only did that video for him but so many more, all of them starting with a ‘Good morning.’ If this wasn’t love, Harry didn’t know what it was._

_Harry grabbed Louis’ ass with both hands, manhandling his body and positioning Louis above of his hard cock. He slipped two fingers inside his hole, already knowing he was going to be welcomed with warm, slick with lube walls. Harry flexed his fingers inside him and heard Louis breath hitch, dazed eyes looking at him._

_Harry loved that Louis was a natural leader and how his sharp mind always had a solution for almost every problem. However, he also loved how easily he gave himself to Harry, body and mind. All sharp edges softening willingly, letting Harry make all the decisions for him. Feelings overpowering mind. He loved to know only he could give Louis that, no matter how many people they have in each of their lives, Harry was the one, just like Louis was._

_Louis was making the most beautiful needy noises while Harry lazily kept pumping his fingers in and out his hole with a steady rhythm._

_“God, kitten, you’re gagging for my cock,” Harry said while hitting Louis’ prostate making the smaller boy arch his back. “Look at you… my pretty boy wants to get fucked so bad. But don’t worry, I’m gonna give you exactly what you need.”_

_“Please,” Louis whined softly after Harry pulled both fingers out of him, a shaky hand still holding the phone for dear life._

_“Where’s the lube, baby?” Louis whimpered and closed his eyes when he felt Harry rub his leaking cock against his arse. “Look at me, Louis,” Harry commanded. This made Louis quickly open his eyes, all his attention focused on Harry’s mouth. “Where is the lube, princess?”_

_“We don’t need it, I already prepped myself for you. Just need you inside of me, please,” Louis slurred._

_“No, baby, we need to wet your pretty hole a bit more,” Harry said while teasing Louis’ ass with the tip of his cock. Slowly entering in him, feeling his ring clench around his shaft as if it trying to trap him inside._

_‘How lovely.’_

_“But da—” Harry cut him off abruptly, slapping his arsecheek hard with the palm of his hand. A small yelp came from Louis’ mouth._

_“You’re such a pushy bratty princess.” Hand gripping Louis’ hipbone. He was dying to see his mark imprinted on Louis’ skin later. “I said no. Now…” He said grabbing the back of his neck drawing him close to his mouth. “Where.” Sucking his collarbone. “Is.” Dragging his teeth through it. “The.” Hand twisting Louis’ head giving more access to his neck “Lube.” Biting and sucking roughly into the soft flesh._

_“I-In my side of the bed,” Louis moaned. Harry’s hips instinctively thrusting up, tip going further inside his hole after hearing that. ‘My side of the bed’ Who would’ve thought the only thing Louis’ needed to get Harry do whatever he wanted, was make a home out of his house._

_“Fuck,” Harry grunted._

_“Yes daddy,” Louis more gasped than spoke, pushing his tight ass against Harry’s cock._

_Harry being the weak bastard he was for Louis, bottomed out already, imagining the amount of aftercare Louis was going to need later, not caring one bit anymore. “Shit, baby, you feel so good.”_

_“Please, please move.” Louis looked as if he was having some trouble trying to speak._

_“You’re so very polite when you’re feeling desperate.” Harry said groaning while he felt Louis stretching and stretching around him. “Go on then, get yourself off on my cock, princess.”_

_Louis lifted himself up then back down with steady and slow movements that were driving Harry mad._

_“Fuck, baby, I wish you could see yourself right now,” he said, hands holding Louis steadily. “You take my cock like if you were born for it.”_

_Louis threw his head back moaning obscenely, fleshy butt slapping Harry’s balls faster and harder, using Harry’s cock for his own pleasure._

_Feeling his own climax nearing, he started to thrust his hips following Louis movements. Louis response to that was a beautiful moan and a pliant body, breath hitching as he felt Harry’s hand stroking his flushed cock firmly._

_He kissed Louis deep, desperate and long before saying, “You’re fucking perfect to me,” and just with that, he felt Louis’ warm thick come all over both of them._

_“Baby,” Harry said, and it was his time to come, emptying wave after wave inside of Louis who kept shaking with pleasure, head buried on the crock of his neck._

_Still inside of Louis, Harry kissed his temple, whispering softly “Good?” into his ear._

_Louis whimpered, burying his head further into his neck._

_“Come on, petal,” Harry said stroking his damp hair,” I need to lick all my come out of you.”_

_“No, please,” Harry struggled making sense out of what Louis was saying because he was now looking at his pretty and debauched face. Plump red lips, blotchy cheeks, glazy eyes, he looked like a dream. Harry wanted to destroy him all over again. “Can you plug me? I want you inside me all day.”_

_Harry was so weak._

_“We can do that, but first, let me see how’s your bum” Harry said while he rolled Louis over on the bed thinking he gasped at the feeling of how empty he was, but his attention was instead, focused on his phone._

_“Oh no no no, I forgot about the video, I hope it isn’t all ruined.” Louis said pouting._

_Harry’s laugh came out of nowhere, surprising them both. He was so happy. Louis made him so happy. “Don’t worry, baby, we can always record another.”_

_\--_

 

The shot panned over, and he could see himself now looking at Louis full of adoration, bright big smile on his face before they kissed. God, they looked in love.

 

With aching heart, he was about to start another video when he received an incoming call.

_‘Right, Noah…’_

Harry met Noah at a Ziferblat in Russia while he was touring there and he was taking a small break from his job as an English teacher. They clicked right away, it felt like if they knew each other since forever and they could become the greatest of friends. That’s probably why Harry ended fucking him in his hotel room that same night.

 

One night became two and then three, then those days turned into a week and after few weeks they had been seeing each other around five or six months more or less. His schedule worked around his and Harry didn’t mind paying for some of his tickets to where Harry was in that moment. It was easy with him, that’s the thing, there was no complications or heavy knots in his stomach while he talked about other boys. They had a real friends with benefits relationship, with no jealousy or fear of getting caught with unwanted feelings.

 

Don’t get him wrong, Harry genuinely liked and cared about Noah. He was one of the most beautiful boys he had ever seen. With his short dark blond hair, blue eyes and curvy small body, he basically was pulled out of Harry’s wet dreams. His personality was even more attractive if anyone asked him, sassy and clever with a heart of gold, ready to help anyone who needed him. Yet, after almost half of a year, he couldn’t find himself wanting more than what they had. There was something missing and Harry didn’t want to dive in what it was.

 

“Hi darling,” He checked how much time he had left until Liam’s party. “All good?”

 

“Yeah umm, that’s what I wanted to ask. I haven’t heard from you since yesterday.”

 

‘Oh’

 

“Oh” Harry dumbly said. “I’m just— a bit jet lagged still?”

 

He heard him sigh, “It’s okay if you need your _‘me time’_ , I just, got worried after you told me you would text after your party and you never did.”

 

He felt awful. After seeing Louis and Alex last night he completely forgot about texting or calling Noah even though he promised he would. “Fuck, so sorry. My head was killing me last night, you know how much I hate industry parties, yeah? Well yesterday’s was the worst.” Harry was technically saying the truth, he hated industry parties and last night was a disaster that left him with a headache, a hangover and a broken heart.

 

“Oh love, you must have felt really bad. And here I am acting like a needy boyfriend.” Harry was also technically being an asshole.

 

“No, I get you, you were worried I should have at least texted, I’m sorry for that.”

 

“Well yeah, but it’s all good now,” he lightly laughed.  Harry loved that about him, he almost never got angry and was always understanding. Even when Harry didn’t actually deserve it. “Um hey, my friends and I are having this kinda theme party tonight— well it’s not like _themed_ themed but umm— yeah! Maybe if you have time you can come by?”

 

_‘Shit’_

Harry knew the right decision would’ve been saying yes to the lovely boy inviting him to his lovely themed yet not themed party, texting Liam how sorry he was for not making it today but knowing he avoided and spared him from the drama and tension Louis and himself were probably going to create. But if Harry were a person who made right decisions, he’d have fought more for Louis and he’d been here with Harry and not fucking around with dumb front-mans of dumb bands or whatever.

He probably got quiet for a while because he heard Noah’s flustered voice. “It’s okay if you don’t want to…” Harry could feel his embarrassment through the phone.

 

“I would love to go but, thing is... I have a friend’s birthday party tonight and I really can’t skip.”

 

“Oh that’s really okay, I know you have your own life, I shouldn’t be imposing myself. It was really dumb of me thinking you had a free night.” He was rushing his words and Harry felt ten times shittier since he started this call. “Gosh, I’m so dumb.”

 

“You aren’t dumb and believe it or not I do have a lot of free nights that could use some good, classy, very beautiful company.”

 

Noah chuckled, “Better bring the boy that has you all gone for those ones, right?” He said, voice sounding playful but a bit insecure. Harry didn’t know what to make out of that.

 

“Right… no. I was actually talking about you. Things between with Mr. Boy Who Got Me All Gone are really rocky right now and probably finished forever.”

 

A few seconds passed without a reply and when Harry was about to check if Noah hung up him, he heard him said “Oh umm, that— that’s really sad I guess, I mean, for you.”

 

Sad was an understatement, an absolute fucking understatement and before he could tell him that, Noah started speaking again.

 

“But I think, things happen for a reason and you should pay close attention to the small and big signals life gives you. Maybe it’s finally time to let go.”

 

Harry had no words, his mind went blank after he said ‘let go’. Because he had heard this same thing come from Louis’ mouth several times. And if Louis genuinely believed that, he realized there wasn’t much left to do.

 

“Maybe you’re right,” It was clear even for his own ears how small and defeated his voice sounded.

 

“Did I made you upset? Oh gosh, it was really not my intention. I’m so dumb.”

 

Harry frowned “No, it’s alright. And you’re probably right.”

 

“Sure but it doesn’t matter if I’m right or not, what matters is what you feel.”

 

 _‘It doesn’t really matter at all.’_ Harry thought bitterly.

 

Harry sprawled out on his bed, bitter taste in his mouth, he needed to end this conversation before he chickened out of his plan. “Hey, listen…” Harry cleared his throat. “I have to go, it’s getting late and I still have to kick Mitch out of my house.”

 

“Is Mitch there?” He checked the time again. He had enough time to buy something for Liam and get Louis’ favorite wine.

 

“Yeah, he spend the night here. Fucking ruined my couch,” he chuckled a little remembering the mess Mitch did with his wine. “It was partly my fault, I’ll give him that.”

 

“Oh— umm, okay, that’s sounds… fun!”

 

“Yeah, not sure if fun would be the word to describe what happened last night,” Harry thought heartbreaking fit a bit better but that was only his opinion. “But anyways, I really have to go, darling. I’ll text you later, promise.”

 

“S-Sure, take care and have fun tonight. And don’t forget to text me this time, mister!”

 

Harry laughed softly, “Alright, see ya”. He ended the call. Anxiety crawled his body all over again, thinking about the different outcomes the night could bring. Yes, as he said before, he knew things weren’t in his favor, but he was going to try, for Louis, for him, for both of them.


	2. II. Live While I Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter Song:** [Live While I Breathe by The Moth & The Flame](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJAntPiPLrE)

There was two things Harry automatically loved about Liam’s new house, one of them was his overly excited dog and the other was the hammock in his back yard where Louis was lazily sprawled while exposing his tanned and lovely tummy. He made a mental note to get one of those for his house.

 

“Enjoying the view, mate?” He glanced and saw a smirking Niall with a pint on his hand.

 

“Can’t deny the obvious, can’t I? It is a beautiful one.” Harry smiled sheepishly.

 

“Have you talked with him?”

 

Harry shook his head “I think he doesn’t even know I’m here.”

 

Niall hummed softly. Harry didn’t know how much he knew about the whole situation; how much Louis had already told him. He knew Niall and Liam loved him as much as he loved them, but he also understood both the connection and special closeness they had with Louis. They were loyal to him and Harry was grateful for that, Louis deserved people like them in his life.

 

“What’s he even doing there?” Harry mumbled mostly to himself. Maybe this wasn’t the right time to go and talk with him.

 

“He said he couldn’t sleep last night,” He could feel his inquisitive gaze. “He looked really bad, Harry.” Niall was a happy go lucky guy, but he could get quiet intense while trying to protect and defend his friends and Harry knew him well enough to fully and quickly identify the edge his voice had in that moment.

 

“I’m going to fix it.” Harry said with clipped tone.

 

“Well, you have to do it quick, because I don’t want your marital problems ruining our holiday.” He said seriously.

 

_‘The fucking holiday…’_

A few weeks ago, just the idea of it used to put an automatic smile on Harry’s face. He loved spend some quality time with his friends, away from the media and intrusive people, just them enjoying life. He also loved the idea of having Louis all to himself at least for three days before Alex and the rest arrived.

 

“I’m doing it later, but I’m doing it.”

 

Niall huffed before shouting, “Hey Tommo, do you want a beer?”

 

_‘Fucking traitor.’_

Louis opened his eyes and smiled big at Niall. “Sure, why not!” He shouted back.

 

Niall turned to face him. “You’re fixing this _now_ ,” said whispering. He took a step away from him and lightly shouted back to Louis. “Be right back, mate. Don’t fall asleep!”

 

Harry knew, as he watched Louis’ bright smile dim as he looked at him, how much he actually fucked up.

 

Harry walked towards Louis and saw how the boy started to adjust his soft looking jumper, smoothly hiding his tummy.

 

_‘Baby, don’t…’_

“What are you staring at?” Louis sounded annoyed, Harry could deal with annoyed Louis.

 

“I want to talk to you.”

 

“I thought you didn’t want to speak or hear from me anymore.” Louis said petulantly, purposely avoiding Harry’s eyes.

 

“I didn’t say that”. Harry said calmly.

 

See, Harry was an expert in all Louis’ things related. He could easily impart an art class just about the different ways you can make him cry of happiness or how to avoid a really, extremely, _very_ ugly fight. The only problem was that Louis also could easily impart an animal behavior class about the different ways in which he could destroy Harry’s heart with just one glance.

 

_‘Like this one.’_

“Yeah, you’re right. You just said you were done with me.” He said now with a smirk on his face. “Why don’t you make up your mind already? Do you want to be my friend or not?”

 

“I don’t.” Louis dropped his act as soon as the words were out. It was Harry’s time to smirk. “At least it’s not the only thing I want from you.”

 

_‘What??’_

This wasn’t the speech Harry had prepared all fucking day. He was going to be honest, earnest, and sincere. No more funny business. Harry should probably take Louis’ class to understand why the fuck he loves to auto-sabotage him so much.

 

Louis laughed bitterly. “Of fucking course.” He got up and took out his phone. “Tell Niall I had to leave, I really can’t stand being close to you right now.”

 

More than his words, the thing that hurt Harry the most was Louis’ shaky and sad tone. He not only disappointed Louis but himself.

 

Before Niall found out what happened and yelled at him or even worse be disappointed at him too, Harry pulled his phone while walking towards the front door.

 

“Hey, is there still a place for me at your ‘not quite themed’ party?”

 

\--

 

Harry woke up with a headache again, this was definitely a habit he didn’t want to get used to. He also woke up butt naked and with Noah besides him, he guessed things could have gone worse.

 

 

He was about to get up to take a shower when he saw Niall was trying to FaceTime him, he knew if he avoided him now would only complicate the situation.

 

“I’m really hangover, Niall. Can we talk later?” Harry said with tired voice.

 

“I just want to know what the fuck happened last night. You can go back to your moral hangover later.” Niall sounded really exasperated and Harry didn’t know how even begin to explain. “You said you were going to fix this shit, mate.”

 

“I know Niall, I just—” Before Harry could even finish what he was saying a voice came from the other side of the bed, loud and clear.

 

“Babe, can you keep it quiet. My head is killing me.”

 

By the look on Niall’s face, he also got to hear his very clear. “Oh,” and then, nothing.

 

A few seconds passed were Niall just kept giving him an odd look that made Harry feel like shit.

 

But why? Since when did he have to give explanations to anybody about who he sleeps with. It’s not like if Louis wasn’t doing the same right now. Why was Harry the only one receiving judging looks?

 

_‘Fuck this’_

“Look, we can keep doing this all day, but as you can imagine, I really need to take a shower,” Harry could’ve enjoyed the shocked look on Niall’s face if it wasn’t for his stupid head screaming _‘He’s going to tell Louis.’_ over and over again. “So if you have nothing else to say…”

 

“Nah, mate, not anymore. Just— are you still going to the trip?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Harry knew his tone was sharp, but he just couldn’t help it. Louis was even taking Alex to that trip and Niall was completely fine with that. He was aware of how biased his friends were toward Louis but not of how extreme. He will forever blame his hangover for what he said next, “I’m taking someone with me, if that’s okay with you.”

 

Niall rubbed his temples with both of his hands. “Sure, Harry, why not.” He said with a frown on his face. “Go shower, I guess. Talk to you later.”

 

And just like that, he ended the call.

 

Harry ran his hands through his hair. His head was spinning around with a mix of confusing feelings. He didn’t know which one was more predominant, his anger towards his friends, Louis and himself, or his fear of Louis finding out that instead of trying to fix things with him, he ran to someone else and had sex in their bed. Not theirs, _Harry’s_ bed.

 

“Babe?” He felt Noah squeezing his shoulder. “Everything alright?”

 

“ _Shit_ , yeah, sorry” He said while getting up. “Was just Niall being Niall, you know?”

 

Noah smiled sweetly. “I wouldn’t know, I haven’t met him yet,” quieter, he continued, “Nor any of your other friends.”

“I didn’t know you wanted to meet them.” Harry said actually startled.

 

They didn’t have rules about their “relationship” but he never thought he was frankly interested in meeting Harry’s friends. Noah was always inviting him to his closest friends’ parties, sure. But it felt more like he did that, so he could bring an interesting plus one rather than he inviting him because he wanted him to get closer with his friends. They were okay, all of them were very discreet, Harry could give them that.

 

“It’s whatever.” He nervously chuckled. Great, now Harry made him uncomfortable. “Umm... are you taking Mitch to your famous trip?”

 

“No?” Harry said. He didn’t get why he was asking that. “Why do you ask?”

 

“I mean uh— I kinda heard you’re taking someone to your trip? And well, I just thought… you meant him?” He said with his eyes down.

 

Did he honestly believe Harry just had four friends and his only option left was Mitch?

 

_‘Oh shit, he actually said he was taking someone else to the trip!’_

“Fuck…” Harry abruptly sat back on his bed, already thinking on excuses to tell the other boys about his nonexistent date.

 

“What? Did I said something wrong?” He crawled by his side, concern painted all over his face.

 

“I’m not taking anyone. I—I just said that because I’m an idiot who loves to complicate his life.”

 

“Why?” He said quietly with furrowed brows.

 

“I don’t know? I just wanted the conversation to be over and it was an easy way out. Now if I don’t take anyone they all would probably look at me with pity in their eyes or something.”

 

It will be an entire weekend of annoyed looks before Alex arrived and then the pity looks will start to show up. With this, Louis would finally know exactly how desperate Harry was and still is for him.

 

_‘Is it that bad? Maybe this is exactly what we need—’_

“I can go with you, if you want.” Noah said. “We can even pretend we are dating.”

 

“For what?” Harry frowned. Bravado fleeing through the window, he could use some help from him, but there was no point in pretending they were an official thing. “I mean it would be really great if you could come but I don’t really know about pretending to be… you know…”

 

“A couple, Harry, pretending to be a couple. Gosh you’re even afraid to say it out loud.” Noah let out an exasperated sigh. “Believe me, you _will_ want him to think you’re seriously seeing someone.”

 

Harry still didn’t get the point of it, but he sounded really sure about it and Harry wasn’t really trusting himself lately, so he guessed this was his best option at the moment.

 

\--

 

In the shower, he couldn’t stop thinking about Noah’s proposition, the consequences it could bring and the reasons why Harry was so adamant to try everything before being sincere to Louis. He hated to think of himself as a coward, but lately he couldn’t help but wonder.

 

Truth is, if Harry never takes a risk and confesses how he feels for Louis, he could never actually be rejected. Because meanwhile Louis doesn’t have the chance to say no to his face, things would never become real and at least, he could always have the _what ifs._ However, this wasn’t the moment to think about all that, not when he had the answer of all his worries in his bed, he just needed to say yes, _easy_.

 

_‘Think this through, you are upset and when you’re upset you make the worst decisions.’_

“Hey handsome, can I get in too?” A stark-naked Noah said startling Harry out of his thoughts.

 

“Sure, I’m almost finished.” Harry said while rising out the conditioner of his hair.

 

“Do you have your answer yet?” Noah asked. “Not to pressure you, but you leave in two days and I need to know now so I can arrange things at work.”

 

And okay that was a bit of a pressure right there.

 

“I still don’t kn— What are you doing?” Harry snapped when he noticed he grabbed Louis’ body wash.

 

“Umm… grabbing some shampoo? Is this shampoo?”

 

God he was clueless, of course he was. There was no way he’d know the ways that body wash was used, the uncountable times Harry religiously washed Louis with it, slowly, thoroughly. How Harry automatically linked the honey and peaches scent with his soft and pliant boy.

 

“No, it isn’t and I’d prefer if you didn’t use it at all.” Harry was being irrational and childish but it felt wrong. The only reason it was out in the first place was because he didn’t plan on bringing him home. Louis was supposed to be here showering with him, not him. Everything was all wrong.

 

“Uh, okay?” Noah furrowed his brows. He then bitterly chuckled. “Am I really worth so little to you, that I don’t even deserve to wash with your expensive stuff?”

 

Harry was an irrational, childish asshole. “God, no, that’s not what I meant at all. It’s just—”, He knew that Harry was in love with someone else, he could’ve easily said it belongs to Louis but right now he suspected it only would hurt Noah’s ego even more. He felt trapped. “I want you to use mine.”

 

“What?” He wasn’t buying it at all, Harry knew that much.

 

_‘God, I just want to get out of this fucking shower.’_

 “What you hear.” Harry grabbed him by the waist. He was aware of the tone he was using. But him eyes were still hurt and very suspicious. “And…” He said seductively while kissing Noah’s neck. “I think you should come with me to the trip.”

 

“As a couple?” His eyes were suddenly sparkling. Harry tensed.

 

“A pretend one, yeah.” Noah grinned at Harry and quickly began to talk about plans and outfits and god knows what else.

 

He avoided one small problem now but probably brought himself a bigger one for the future.

 

_‘Louis would know what to do.’_

But Louis didn’t even want to see Harry, let alone give him advice on how they could save their relationship. He missed him anyways. So much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm.. SO SORRY
> 
>  
> 
> stan exo hehehehe


	3. III. Déjate Llevar

Humidity was a bitch, mosquitos were deadly, and Louis looked beautiful even when he was clearly annoyed. It’s been only four hours since he got to Casa Tauro – Niall insisted they all should call the villa by its own name – and things were already tense.

 

“I don’t know why you don’t want to call it that, it’s a cultural thing.” Niall said while waved his fork at Louis.

 

“Because it isn’t?” Louis snapped but with a hint of humor in his voice. It sounded almost as if he was trying to contain his laugh. Cute. “We are literally in some exclusive ex-French island. The closest they are to having culture is spending money on ugly white clothes and big ass yachts.”

 

“I think they play golf too.” Liam said absently.

 

“Okay, I might’ve made a small mistake and misplaced the Casa Tauro you were talking about but that could happen to anyone.” Niall said giggling as if he just confused the movie he had to pick for tonight.

 

“How— The other one is in Mexico, in the middle of nowhere, a peaceful and beautiful villa in front of a quiet beach, how can you— you know what, Horan? You gonna have to give me a piggy back ride every day we go to the beach.”

 

“Oh fatal destiny, how would I survive?” Niall recited dramatically while launching himself over to Louis’ side on the large couch, hugging him with all his body. “In my defense,” he said close to Louis ear. “I was really drunk when you texted me about that villa, so it’s technically your fault. I just wanted to fulfill your needs in the quickest way possible.” He said wiggling his eyebrows in a ridiculous way. Louis made scrunched his face before letting out a loud cackle, eyes sparkling.

 

 Harry certainly didn’t feel his body recoil at the easy way Niall was touching Louis, it would be ridiculous because he was sure they only saw each other as friends, brothers even. Louis was a person who enjoyed physical contact, so Harry was used to seeing him like that all the time. There was no logical reason to feel that green monster growing inside him.

 

“You alright?” Liam said squeezing his shoulder gently. “You zoned out for a bit”

 

Harry cleared his throat and tried to sound as calm and relaxed as he could. “Yeah, I’m just a bit tired,” he really tried to avoid Louis’ eyes, but it was as if a magnet was drawing his towards Louis’. “I’m umm— going to take a shower, I think.” Louis’ quickly snapped his eyes away from him.

 

Harry felt a bit lost at that. After all, this was a completely unexplored territory for him.

 

Since the beginning of their friendship he just naturally clicked with Louis, there never was uncomfortable silences between them or avoidance. Louis was always open to him in _all_ senses. To learn this new normal might kill Harry in the process.

 

He stood up and started to walk to his bedroom. He was about to open his door when he felt someone pulling him delicately. For a millisecond, he dared to think up “what ifs”. However, as soon as he did that, he had to crush all is expectations when the one who was right in front of him was a concerned looking Liam.

 

“I—Look, I just…” Liam started to say with a mix of nervousness and pity in his eyes.

 

“Liam, I told you before, I’m really okay.”

 

“You don’t have to pretend with me,” he said looking a bit surer of himself. “I know how odd this feels, I’m also not used to not seeing you guys wrapped in your little bubble. But uh… can you please not take it out on Niall?”

 

And okay _what?_ Harry knew he wasn’t the most subtle person in the world, but he was sure he couldn’t be _that_ bad.

 

“Mate, I don’t know what the fuck you‘re talking about. Why would I even feel jealous about Niall? He’s one of my best mates and I know there’s nothing going on between him and Louis.” Harry felt he was rambling, but he just couldn’t stop. “Are you implying they are sleeping together? And even if they are, what’s that have to do with me? Louis and I were never exclusive. Hell Liam, I don’t know if Louis even considers me his friend anymore.”

 

And there it was, the root of his problem. He wasn’t jealous of Niall because he thought he was fooling around with Louis, but because he could still hug and make Louis laugh as if it was the simplest, most basic thing in the world, while Harry couldn’t even make him look in his direction anymore. He was jealous of their friendship.

 

“ _Oh._ ”

 

“There we go… I knew you were a smart guy after all.” Liam chuckled while clapped his back lightly. The worried look on his face didn’t look as severe anymore. “I promised not to mingle so I’m just gonna say this. Talk with him, I'm sure he will listen. You just need to talk with him.”

 

“I really don’t think he wants to talk with me.”

 

Liam rolled his eyes as if he was already expecting that answer. “Have you tried?”

 

“Well, no.”

 

“Then try,” Liam said while he started to walk away but not before pointing at his neck and saying, “And maybe _also_ try to hide those hickeys while you’re at it, that might help.”

 

Harry run his fingers over the tender skin of his neck. He honestly didn’t have any idea of when or how it happened, because Noah knew he didn’t like marks on his body, not even the idea of them, he made that pretty clear since the first time they slept together and he clearly remembered last night, there weren’t any hickeys.

 

He needed to talk with Noah about that, but first he needed to take a long shower.

 

 

-

 

 

 

So far, Harry was having a love-hate relationship with the trip. He loved the idea of having some quality time with his friends and to have Louis just a few steps from him, but at the same time, hated not being able to actually be _close_ to Louis.

 

Harry knew if things kept going like this, everyone would feel drained by the end of the trip. So he needed to do something to fix things with Louis fast. Not only because he wanted to lighten up things for everyone but because he needed his best friend back. And if they needed to start all over again as a simple friendship, he will do that. Harry would do anything to have Louis’ and his trust again.

 

He was mentally preparing himself to go and do that when he heard his phone ringing.

 

“Hiya, darling," Harry said to Noah. "Isn’t like 2am there?” He heard giggles from the other side of the line.

 

“ _Baaby hii!”_ Harry chuckled at that, he was definitely drunk. “What are you guys doing? I miss you, babe,  so bad— so-so bad,” was he singing? “Don’t you love that song? It reminds me of— shit I almost fell.”

 

Harry laughed lightly “I think is ‘I love you’ but umm are you alone?”

 

“You _what_? Harry— wait shut up, what?” He heard some other voices talking with Noah and some shuffling.

 

“Darling, who’s with you?” Harry was a bit worried about him, he personally has experienced a drunk Noah and he could freely accept how difficult he could get like that.

 

“Why? Are you jealous?” Harry laughed a bit more. “Why are you laughing, mister? Are you laughing at me?!”

 

“Yeah, a bit.” He chuckled. Nobody could blame Harry, it was a bit of a ridiculous situation. “Tell someone sober to put you in bed or something.”

 

“A bit what?! Babe, are you really j…”

 

Noah slurred something else but Harry’s focus right now was solely on the person who appeared at his door.

 

Louis.

 

“Hi…” Harry breathed, voice almost barely audible.

 

He could hear Noah faintly rambling about something as he lowered his phone.

 

“Niall wants to know if you’re watching movies with us.” Louis looked a bit nervous and out of place, he was dying to hug and kiss him until he felt safe and comfortable again. Harry also noticed he looked very tired but beautiful as always, swimming in a big jumper—god, _Harry’s_ jumper— that barely showed his hands, baby yellow puffy socks, no pants— _wait_ , no pants??

 

Soft legs shined right in front of him, Harry swallowed with difficulty. He could smell his body lotion all over his room, this was torture. Harry _certainly_ didn’t deserve this, he was a good person. He always called his mom, worried for his friends, and donated money to charities. There was no reasons why life was punishing him with a pantless, edible, Louis ready to be licked and eaten right at his door. This was _hell_.

 

“I have shorts, you weirdo.”

 

At this point, Harry couldn’t differentiate between the things he was thinking and the ones he was saying out loud. 

 

 

“Um…”

 

When he successfully detached his eyes from Louis’ legs, Harry got to see something _so_ much better. Louis was fighting down a smile.

 

“Hi…” Harry repeated, soft smile blooming on his face.

 

“No,” Louis said snappishly. “Just-Niall really wants you there and it would be nice if you stopped flirting on the phone and decided to gift your friend with your company.”

 

“I wasn’t flirting.” Was Harry’s very well thought response.

 

“Whatever, see if I care.” Louis huffed. “Niall will be waiting, so if you are going to stay here... at least tell him.”

 

And with that, he was gone.

 

Harry felt his phone vibrate. It was a barely legible text from Noah asking him why he hung up on him. Walking towards the living room, he decided to reply with a simply good night text and teased him about the hangover he would probably get the next day, he could explain things later.

 

The first thing Harry heard entering the dim room was Niall loud cackles, he was sprawled in one of the couches playing with the tv remote. Louis and Liam sat on the other one and Harry had the option to sit right besides Louis or in an uncomfortable looking single seat sofa. Okay, he might have had other options but they were so far away and if anyone asked those didn’t count as options.

 

So, Harry chose the _only_ option available, beside Louis. Yes, he also discarded the single seat sofa because he needed his comfort and life was too short to spend a movie night stiff.

 

“Did you already pick a movie?” He asked casually sitting himself down onto the sofa. He felt Louis tense but not move, naked leg only covered by a small pillow, flushed against his.

 

“You took ages, mate. We chose The Lobster.” Niall said proudly while Louis and Liam groaned.

 

“I don’t know why you’re so obsessed with that movie,” Liam said throwing the pillow on Louis’ lap at Niall. “You probably know all of the dialogue.”

 

“It’s art!” Niall threw the pillow back and Harry begged to all the available gods at the moment that Louis wouldn’t pick it back. “Imagine having the opportunity to become the animal of your choice if you can spend a bunch of days in a hotel without talking to anyone.”

 

“I don’t really think that’s the point of the movie?” Harry said while Liam murmured, “Tinder is worse, anyways.”

 

“I’d be a giant goose.” Louis stated while rubbing his eye. He still looked _very_ tired. “I want to see them try to fuck with me.”

 

Niall snorted “Giant… sure sure.”

 

“Anyways, Collin Farrell’s belly is hot.” Louis said completely ignoring Niall’s comment and a bit much dreamily for Harry’s liking. They all looked at him with a mix of distrust and disgust. “What, assholes? Are you really trying to pretend if you have the opportunity to rest your head on Collin Farrell’s soft tummy you wouldn’t do it?” After getting no response, Louis scoffed. “Tasteless, all of you…”

 

Louis shifted on his seat and he could feel how cold his leg was with his pinkie. Pillow still on the floor even after Liam offered it to him.

 

“Okay, everyone shut up, let’s watch this baby.” Niall said loudly.

 

There wasn’t anything surprising or shocking about the movie anymore, it was more about comfort—well, as much comfort a dystopian film that talks about how society is killing love little by little can give— than anything else. He liked the ambiguity of its ending, you choosing their destiny.

 

Harry and Louis had a way of judging people based on which final they choose, it was fool proof and worked like magic. Harry had pulled The Lobster card twice with Louis’ dates. He even tried with Alex, but he replied correctly.

Pulling him out of his thoughts, Harry felt Louis shiver besides him, he didn’t notice, but at some point he started to slowly caress Louis’ thigh up and down with his finger.

 

Moving closer to Louis, he whispered, “Are you cold?” Harry was very much aware of each time his lips brushed his ear. “There’s a blanket here if you want.” The light was low but he could easily see the goosebumps blooming on Louis’ leg. So pretty.

 

Harry was pulling the blanket even before Louis stopped nodding and proceeded to cover him with it. Louis shuffled a little until he found a comfortable position, one leg on top of Harry’s lap.

 

After a moment with none of them moving, Louis’ leg started to slightly shake. Out of instinct, Harry put his hand on his knee, thumb rubbing gentle and soothing circles in it. It wasn’t sexual, not even sensual, it was Harry’s simple and primal urge to make Louis feel safe. Finally realizing what he was doing, his body completely stilled. Harry was about to start apologizing when he noticed Louis was asleep.

 

 “It’s better if you left him sleep for a bit,” Niall said from the other couch. “He hasn’t done that a lot lately.”

 

Harry hummed in agreement even though he didn’t have any idea if what Niall was saying was true. Louis might lie to him, but his body couldn’t, he was as restless and tired as Harry was.

 

\--

 

After the movie finished and Liam woke Louis up, Niall proponed to go out.

 

“Here me out, we might find our new favorite place?”

 

“You really can’t even convince yourself about that bullshit, huh?” Louis said laughing.

 

And that’s how the four of them ended up in Casa, a very exclusive club in a very exclusive place, because apparently that’s what they were doing now.

 

“What’s up with you and Casas lately?” Harry asked Niall lightheartedly.

 

 Niall laughed. “Is the closest thing to México I can give Louis right now.”

 

“You know, you can’t replace an entire country with words in Spanish, right?” Harry teased him.

 

“Of course I know that, don’t be ignorant Harry, _my god_.” He said offended, one hand on his chest.

 

“You gonna have to accept we’re never gonna let you live about this.” Liam said shaking Niall’s shoulder.

 

Niall grumbled a little but didn’t deny his faith. “Where’s Louis anyway?” He eventually said.

 

“Here,” Louis said behind Harry, holding a tray full of shot glasses. “I got us some drinks.”

 

To say he looked strikingly beautiful would be an understatement. Cheeks and nose slightly sunburned, giving him a special glow to his face. He was wearing his favorite rose gold eyeshadow and a bit of red lip balm. His tight clothes fit him like gloves, engulfing perfectly every soft curve and toned part of his body. No matter how worn out he really was, he was the prettiest boy anywhere.

 

“I’d thank you, but those probably came from some random dude. Better if none of us drink that.” Niall said laughing.

 

“Actually, _I_ bought these _and_ one for that cute guy over there.” Louis said pointing to some bearded and overly buffed guy with fake smile and tan. Nothing like Louis’ type, and talking about Louis type—

 

“Is Alex okay with that?” Harry asked.

 

 The last person Harry wanted to bring up these next days was Alex, but he felt a bit desperate at the moment. If these were other times, Harry would simply grab Louis by the waist and sit him right on top of his cock, whispering all the things he would do to him later and how pampered he would be the next day. But these weren't the old times and Harry didn’t have a lot of options.

 

“What I do with _my_ body is only _my_ business and what happens between Alex and I is _our_ business. So, if you’d excuse me…” Louis took two shots of tequila, then he strolled back to the caveman on the other side of the club.

 

Harry was about to follow Louis when Niall stopped him, “No mate, let him have some fun.”

 

“I don’t really think he will have fun, even more cause he did that to spite Harry.” Liam mumbled while examinating his tequila shot.

 

“Liam…” The icy tone in Niall’s voice startled Harry.

 

“Oh, yeah, uh— I think we all should dance? Yes, let’s dance!” Liam said while dragged Harry to the dance floor.

 

So that’s how Harry spend his first night out in St. Barts, half sulking, half watching Louis grind against a caveman.

 

They might have survived the night, but everything felt tense again back in the house. They all were a bit tired and wary, and after a few ‘goodnights’ -and Louis not even looking in his direction again-, they all went to their respective rooms.

 

\--

 

Harry tried to sleep with no success; he spend hours tossing and turning. His brain couldn’t compute how close Louis was from him. His body was craving to go and just lay beside him, and his heart hasn’t even left Louis’ side since the first time they kissed years ago. Without Louis, Harry was a heartless man.

 

He bitterly chuckled in the dark, he was dying to tell that to Louis so he could laugh at him, call him dramatic and cover his face with kisses. He wanted to say so many things; how much he missed him, how sorry he was, the plans that he created every day in his head to get him back but was too much of a coward to do something about it. But most importantly, he wanted to tell Louis how mad he was at him for not fighting hard enough for something as big as what they have— _had_.

 

Because, why was Harry the one that always gave in, the only one that seemed to care about their future, the one desperate to save at least their friendship?

 

_‘Why doesn’t he give a single fuck????’_ He resentfully thought while getting up from his bed. A sudden rush of adrenaline ran through his body while he walked towards Louis’ room, not caring he only was wearing briefs. He didn’t have any idea of what he was going to say or if Louis was even awake, but his body wasn’t listening to his mind and he was already opening Louis’ door, not even bothering to knock.

 

All the lights of the room were off except for his bedside table, Louis had no shirt on and seemed to be reading a book. He continued ignoring Harry even after he was just a few steps away from him.

 

Harry felt all his resolution leave his body when Louis glanced up at him for a few seconds and saw the exhausted look on his face. Maybe if they just… sleep—it has been weeks since he had a proper and full night of sleep—, things might look a bit better in the morning.

 

Before he could put much thought into it, Harry found himself saying, “Can I sleep here?”

 

“I’m not that drunk Harry, go away.” Louis replied without looking away from his book.

 

“Please?” That got him Louis’ attention. “I just—I really need to sleep and you need it too because I know you’re thinking about me not sleeping just like I’m thinking about you not sleeping too and you know just like I know that we sleep the best when we are together—“

 

“You’re rambling…” Louis interrupted him.

 

“I know, lack of sleep makes me do weird things.” Harry said sheepishly. An unrecognizable look flashed Louis’ face. “Call it a midnight truce if you want. We can just… not talk about it in the morning.”

 

“No talking?” Louis said, face blank.

 

“Not at all. Who wants to even talk about it anyways?” Harry hoped his voice didn’t sound too desperate, too needy.

 

Louis’ face still had a slightly cold stare and Harry was about to just gave up when he heard, “Alright, hop on then.” He said while throwing some pillows away from what was going to be Harry’s side of the bed. “Let’s just not talk about it in the morning… or ever.”

 

Harry’s stomach made an unpleasant flip when he heard that. Was Louis so tired of him that even something that used to be so simple for them as sharing a bed, now felt like a chore?

 

For a brief moment, Harry had the urge to leave him like that, just to get a reaction, but he didn’t want to risk the heartbreak of not getting one. So, he climbed into bed, tucked himself in and prepared to face Louis. But the boy had other ideas because as soon as Harry did that, he turned off his lamp and laid down with his back facing Harry.

 

Quietness filled the room, Harry rolled over and stared at the dark ceiling. He stayed like that for god knows how long. Body and brain getting used to the idea of another sleepless night, until he felt Louis move close to him. And closer. _And_ closer.

 

Louis was so close to him now that Harry could feel his breath on his arm, warm legs near his, small feet barely touching his. Harry needed him closer but he knew if he pulled him, Louis would pull back and that wasn't an option. So he did the best next thing. He slowly lifted his arm and put it behind his head. After a moment of stillness where Harry thought Louis was going to move away, a cold nose gently nuzzled his ribcage and soft wet lips ghosted the skin there. Was then when he felt Louis’ delicate finger caress his waistband and a few of his pubes very cautiously, as if he was scared of “waking him up”, purposely ignoring Harry’s currently fast breathing.

 

_‘Am I dreaming?’_

Harry tried his luck again and put the arm from behind his head on Louis’ shoulder, hand slowly going down touching all the soft skin on his arm until he reached his hip. He felt Louis shiver against his body, cock poking his leg.

 

“I know you’re sleeping,” Louis said softly, Harry squeezed his hip as a reflex. “But I miss you, I miss you so much.” Harry’s throat let out an almost embarrassing whimper. The back of Louis’ hand faintly caressed the tip of his still clothed hard cock while he played with his happy trail. “Please, let me have this night, just tonight.”

 

Louis didn’t have to ask twice, with a barely audible “Come here, baby.” Harry pulled Louis on top of him, big hands touching and feeling every little inch of his body. Louis hands were all over his hair, pulling and stroking. They weren’t kissing, they weren’t even grinding, they were just touching and hugging and feeling. That’s all Harry needed at the moment, was all he asked, to feel Louis close to him.

 

Louis’ lips tenderly brushed Harry’s face. “You’re sleeping.”

 

“Yes, baby, I’m sleeping.” Harry said, pulling him closer.

 

“Okay.” Louis whispered while gently kissing both his eyelids, nose and finally giving his lips a soft peck, then another and another. Harry opened his mouth pushing his tongue so he could taste Louis better, he allowed him inside his mouth. Even after that, the kiss was still tender, full of love. Harry could feel the love in every stroke Louis gave to his hair, in every swipe of his tongue, in every smile against his lips. This. Was. Love.

 

They spent what felt like hours kissing. Just that, kissing. Like two teenagers way too scared to get to the next level, but at the same time, so sure that they had all their lives to explore and get to know their bodies.

 

It felt like hope. Harry knew that wasn’t true but only for that night, he could have that, hope.

 

\--

 

The first thing he noticed when he wake up the next morning was how relaxed and well rested he felt. The second was how tense Louis was between his arms, hands still holding his, tightly.

 

“I’m gonna need you to stop panicking.” Harry said while nuzzling the back of his neck, rubbing his thumb on his belly button. He felt Louis’ body going completely relax, head titling so he could give Harry better access to his neck.

 

“I’m not panicking.” Louis said stubbornly. The back of his neck had a beautiful pink tone and Harry was dying to see that color covering all of his face.

 

“Show me your pretty, _very not_ panicked face then.” Harry chuckled, Louis already shifting to face him.

 

Pink cheeks and clear blue eyes welcomed him. Harry felt himself automatically smile at the sight.

 

“Hi,” Smile still on his face while he pulled Louis on top of him. “I don’t know if you remember me, I’m the guy who has been blowing your phone with texts and calls.” Louis body went still. Harry couldn’t have any of that.

 

“Oh no, none of that,” Harry grunted, tickling Louis, he yelped and laughed.

 

They both rolled, Harry pinned Louis’ back down the bed, he looked disheveled. Blown pupils, blotchy cheeks, wet lips and sweaty hair. He looked _so_ happy and— ready to be fucked. Harry’s mind went blank.

 

“I wouldn’t be opposed to replying to your texts now.” Louis said with raspy voice and glossy, bright eyes.

 

“Really?”

 

“Mhm, and I’d reply with a ‘I don’t want to talk about our fight.’” He freed one hand and started playing with the curls on the back of Harry’s neck.

 

“Okay.” Harry said with sure voice.

 

“Or about our relationship.” Louis moved his hand from his hair to his jaw.

 

“Oh…”

 

“Or our current situation or the future…” He pushed Harry’s hair away of his face so he could see Louis easy and open demeanor. He knew Louis was trying to say something more with that, but Harry hadn’t fully figured out what.

 

“Louis wha—”

 

“I’d love to talk about Drag Race though.” He said smiling.

 

“Drag Race.” Harry said flatly.

 

“Yes. Niall hates Aquaria, says he hates their antics and I can’t talk with him about it without fighting and Liam—god, Liam is way too straight to understand it…”

 

Louis was looking at him expectantly and Harry finally figured out what that was. A truce.

 

So Harry took it.

 

“Sure,” He shrugged while smacking a loud kiss on Louis' forehead. “We can talk about anything you want. I love Aquaria’s antics.” He didn’t have any idea who Aquaria was, but for Louis, Harry was willing to learn. “Wanna eat some breakfast?”

 

“Always” Louis winked.

 

Harry gave him a peck on his nose and jumped out of bed. “Be right back in a moment.”

 

He was just closing Louis’ door when he saw Niall looking warily at him.

 

 “Morning.” Harry tried to go for the casual route.

 

“Look mate,” Niall said with stern voice and Harry knew the casual route went to shit. “I love you, you know that. And I love you and Louis together, but if you’re going to constantly hurt each other… I might not love the idea of you so much.” Eyes going soft, he continued, “I just want you guys happy.”

 

“We are going to be okay. You don’t have to worry, I’d never hurt him, at least not on purpose.” Harry said mumbling the last part.

 

“Alright,” Niall sighed. “You’re both adults and you know what you’re doing, I guess.”

 

Harry awkwardly patted Niall’s back and pulled him into one arm hug. “Yes, we are. Also…” Harry made a signal with his finger for Niall to bring himself closer, “You don’t have to be jealous of me, you can always be Louis’ _second_ best friend.” Harry said in a mock whisper.

 

“You fucker!” Niall laughed pushing him away. “That’s crap and you know it! I’m the best friend and you’re the side hoe or whatever.”

 

“Niall…” Harry dramatically said. “In this fake Hispanic household, we _don’_ t slut shame.”

 

“Ugh, go make Louis’ breakfast and leave me and my fake Hispanic household alone.” Niall said, walking back to his room.  "I really hope you both get your shit together and work things out this time. I _may_ be rooting for you.”

 

Harry saw him close his door, thinking about how much he wanted that too and how good it feel to have his bestfriend back and on his bed.


	4. IV. It All Feels Right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Song: [ It All Feels Right - Washed Out](https://youtu.be/qJILRWBKnQ4).

 

Things felt incredibly tender and Harry’s heart felt as big as the villa.

 

 He got his best friend back, and with that, he also got back the late-night conversations, the inside jokes, the new music, the cuddles _, almost_ everything he craved and missed. Louis didn’t frown anymore when Harry called him “baby”, he didn’t tense when he touched the low of his back or whispered in his ear. They spend their days on sunny beaches, laughing and smiling like idiots and their nights in crowed clubs, dancing around people who didn’t give a fuck about them, before going home to share secrets under the covers of Louis’ bed. It was Louis and Harry against the world again.

 

Everything was strictly platonic after that first night though and Harry was completely fine with that. Honestly, he was. This was really _really_ fine, perfect even. It was helping Harry to move on. To re-learn how to be Louis’ best friend. _Only_ his friend.  Sure, there was still moments when Louis smiled so big and bright that the only thing he wanted was to kiss him until he was a squirming panting mess. Or when he proudly talked about his sisters with such a soft and loving tone that Harry couldn’t help but picture a future where they—

 

Harry was _fine_ , he was moving on.

 

It was hard, was the thing. Because the soft and cautious touches, the shy smiles and the lingering looks reminded him so much to the beginning of it all. To when Harry couldn’t sleep until he recounted every time he touched Louis’ skin that day, every time he made him blush, smile. Harry was counting again and had to remind himself each time, this isn’t like that, not this time.

 

_‘Because this time, I’m gonna make things right.’_

 

If Louis wanted a friendship, he was going to give him exactly that, he was going to learn to listen. He wasn’t going to make the same mistakes as last time.

 

_\--_

_The first time Harry breaks Louis heart, he didn’t know what he was doing._

_“Do you believe in love?”  Louis spoke into the dark bedroom with a voice so soft that nineteen year old Harry almost blurted ‘Yeah, when I’m with you.’_

_He still leaned against the touch of Louis’ hand on his cheek, fingers still inside Louis. So warm. So perfect._

 

_“Do you?” Harry mentally clapped his back when his voice didn’t waver._

_“I think—" Louis said while leaving a tender kiss on Harry’s chest. “it’s an unavoidable feeling, a time consuming one. But with the right person, place or thing, I think it could be beautiful. Maybe that’s the reason why everyone is so desperate to find it.”_

_Louis kept tenderly brushing his thumb against his jawline in the way Harry so much loved. He opened his eyes, heart pounding against his chest, streetlights softly illuminating Louis’ face. “Have you ever felt that? Love, I mean.”_

_“Yes.” Louis replied easily. “I love my family, I love music. My house. My home.” He kissed Harry’s chin. “I love so many things and so many people.” He laughed easily._

_Harry didn’t feel like laughing. That wasn’t the reply he was expecting or hoping. Sure, he knew Louis loved all those things but, what about him? Not even a friendly love? A ‘guy who makes me smile, laugh and cum’ love? Nothing?_

_“Do you want to fall in love with someone someday?” Louis asked almost shyly with a look Harry couldn’t recognize._

_He knew feeling like that was childish. Knew there was no way Louis was feeling the same things as him, because they only have been hooking up since a few months ago and Harry was the one who had to basically seduce him into that first kiss. The one who convinced him sleeping with each other was a practical thing. Louis just went along with all of it._

_So, if you ask Harry Styles what was the reasoning behind his next reply, he would probably tell you, nineteen is a really odd age for everyone and their feelings, because that’s easier and less embarrassing to say than the truth. “I don’t find the appeal of that. Love, falling in love, whatever. It just… complicates things.”_

_“You really think like that?” Louis said chuckling while slightly squinting his eyes._

_Harry felt exposed, bare for the first time that night. “Yeah, I don’t get why people are so eager to expose themselves to just get hurt at the end. It’s dumb, a waste of time.” Louis shifted again, hand slipping away from his face. Harry felt like he couldn’t breathe. Fingers tensing still inside of Louis. “You said so yourself,” He said while he saw Louis’ eyelashes flutter and breathing speed up. Louis’ might not want his love, but he for sure wanted his fingers moving in and out of him. “There’s so many things and people to love, why pick just one?”_

_Nineteen is a really odd age indeed._

\--

 

It was their last day, just _them,_ and Harry wanted to do something before real life hit them again the next day.

 

“Why are you all dressed up?” Louis said leaning back against his bed while passing a blunt to Niall. “Going somewhere fancy?”

 

“Yes, _we_ are.” Harry said while tossing at Louis some clothes he bought for him that same afternoon.

 

“Where are _my_ clothes?” Niall pouted.

 

“Uh—Well… I—", Harry was interrupted by the sound of a hysterical fit of laughter of both Niall and Louis. “Oh, you are _so_ fucking hilarious, ha ha.” He deadpanned.

 

“You should’ve seen your face, mate.” Niall said, still laughing. “You looked so crushed.”

 

“What are you even doing here? I thought you went with Liam to the beach.” Harry said grumpily but smiled at the sight of Louis giggling into his wrist while picking up his clothes.

 

“He is sunbathing in the nude today and he said I wasn’t welcome.” Niall grinned.

 

“This is the part where you say the real reason why he didn’t let you go with him.” Harry said. Louis cackled as he walked towards the bathroom.

 

“Nothing, really! I just wanted to make a comparative of his ass before and after looking like a red lobster.” Niall said while taking another drag. “In the name of science, you know?”

 

“In the name of—I’m going to see if Louis is almost done.” Said Harry while walking in the same direction as Louis did minutes ago.

 

“You do that,” Niall said smiling. “I’m gonna stay here, trying to not listen to whatever weird things you do while you’re alone.”

 

Giving Niall the middle finger, Harry opened the bathroom door.

 

“Sure, come on in, it’s open.” Said Louis in front of the mirror while he applied some golden highlight to his cheekbones. “Is it too much?”

 

Harry couldn’t help but smile at the sight, Louis looked like a dream. “You look amazing.” Harry said with low voice.

 

“Great,” Louis breathed. “Now can you explain me why we are dressed like middle aged dads ready for a recital of their untalented yet _very_ charming child?”

 

“Our child isn’t untalented,” Harry admonished while adjusting Louis collar. “He just needs to learn how to have some more rhythm.”

 

“I don’t think you can _learn_ that.” Louis said while his hand tenderly stroked Harry’s hair. He leaned at the touch.

 

“Of course you can, I did,” said Harry lowering his head, nose nuzzling against Louis’ cheek.

 

“Spitting water on time while moving your arms doesn’t equal to having rhythm.” Louis softly giggled against his jaw. Harry playfully bit his cheekbone. “My highlight!”

 

“I’ll let you know, that’s pretty much what having rhythm entails.” Harry said while wrapping his arms around Louis waist and pulling him closer, noses rubbing against one another. “Now stop criticizing me and our future untalented, rhythm-less child, and put your shoes on because it’s getting late.”

 

Harry slowly let Louis go and heard him murmur “I thought he wasn’t untalented,” with a genuine frown on his face. Harry was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to kiss the ridiculously wonderful boy in front of him.

 

“He isn’t, he’s perfect. He’s just got my two left feet. I’m sorry for that.” Harry knew he was smiling like a fool, but he couldn’t care less, the butterflies soaring in his stomach as if he was a high schooler were too distracting for him to pay attention to anything else that wasn’t Louis in that moment.

 

“It’s okay, your mouth makes up for it,” Louis said, blue eyes widening in an almost comical way. “I mean, when like you spit— _shit_ , not like— when you—”

 

Niall’s _very_ loud cackles startled both of them. Bathroom door now completely open. “Jesus, Niall, a little bit of a warning would be nice.”

 

“Sorry, mate, but your car is here and waiting for you. I figured Louis could finish talking about the benefits of your mouth on the way out.” Niall teased while dodging the wet hand towel Louis throws at him. “Chop chop, weirdos.”

 

Harry saw the bathroom door close again and a feeling of nervousness suddenly ran through his body. “Ready?” He heard Louis say.

 

“Always.”

 

\--

 

“So… are you going to explain at _some_ point why we are in a bar full of old folks?” Louis asked, voice amused and curious eyes.

 

Harry couldn’t explain why he was feeling so many things that afternoon. It wasn’t as if it was the first time he went out with Louis, not even close to it. Maybe it was the ambience, old local people eating and dancing, with not a single worry in the world. But somehow, something felt different that night.

 

“Look at the people, nobody cares or knows us, we can be anyone we want tonight.”

 

Louis’ eyes visibly softened. “Anyone?”

 

“Anyone.”

 

“Alright.” Louis replied with soft voice and smile full of heart. Hand reaching for Harry’s, making his heart race. “Let’s go then.”

 

Harry could hear the sea from where he was standing with Louis on the bar. That afternoon felt like a dream, they laughed, drank, slow danced and smiled. Harry could smell Louis all over his body and he could smell himself on Louis. Everything felt, sticky, sweet, and wonderful.

 

“You make such a sweet couple.” An old lady said conspiratorially beside him. He was about to correct her when he remembered what he told Louis hours ago.

 

  _‘We can be anyone we want.’_

 

Feeling a bit daring, he wrapped one arm around Louis’ waist and said, “Thank you, we’re going to marry.” If he wasn’t so attuned to Louis, Harry might not have noticed his breath hitch.

 

“Oh my, is he your fiancé?”

 

“Yeah, he’s my future husband.” Harry repeated while looking directly into Louis’ bright eyes. He felt his hand on his chest and warmth swelled inside it. They were doing it, they could be whomever they wanted and out of all the options, they chose to be in love.

 

A lot of drinks later, and after Louis told Ruthy – the nice old lady who approached them and Louis’ newest friend – all the details about their “wedding”, they went to dance a little more.

 

Their movements were fluid and gracious and every part of him felt synced and connected with Louis. Wandering fingers touching sweaty and smooth flesh, Louis clutching his neck as if he was scared to let go. They still haven’t kissed but Harry’s lips had caressed every bit of Louis’ face and neck, he knew how they must look but he couldn’t care less. While Louis allowed him, he was gonna take everything he could.

 

“Your table is ready.” A waitress told them, eyes lingering for a bit longer than necessary on Louis’ debauched face.

 

Harry tightens his grip around him. “Come on, baby,” he said, lips close to the shell of Louis’ ear but loud enough so the girl could hear too. “We can continue this later at home.”

 

At the table, Harry noticed that Louis was still blushing. He felt elated and Louis must have seen it too because he rolled his eyes and said, “Is it really necessary that you use your bedroom voice in a room full of elderly people?”

 

Harry could only laugh, he felt high, so happy he could cry.

 

The waitress re-appeared with two menus in hand.

 

“It won’t be necessary,” Harry said to her without averting his eyes away from Louis. “What are your least and most popular dishes?”

 

“Uh, sorry?” She said with furrowed brows.

 

“You see,” Harry said while holding Louis’ wrist. He could feel the rapid flutter of his heart, like butterfly wings on the tip of his fingers. “My partner and I have this tradition,” he saw Louis’ entire face light up. He knew what was coming. “We always try dishes people usually don’t order and the ones they overly hype, then we choose which one is our new favorite. He usually always chooses the least popular ones.” The smile Louis was sporting could put the sun to shame. Harry kissed his hand. “He thinks he’s doing something.”

 

Thing is, they actually used to do this when they went out to eat in new places. It was such an unnecessary thing to say, but something inside of him wanted them all to know how real and genuine that fake relationship was.

 

After an atrocious full course meal, a lot of laughter and tender touches, they settle for chocolate and hazelnut mousse layered with hazelnut dacquoise over a wafer covered in chocolate glaze for Louis and a raspberry mousse with lime crème inside for him.

 

“Shit, I ate all my dessert.” Louis said pouting.

 

“That’s what they’re made for, baby.” Harry teased.

 

“Yeah but, you should’ve tasted it. It was heaven.” Louis' dopey smile was doing weird things to Harry’s insides.

 

“Yeah?” Harry said while feeling daring for the second time that night. He leaned forward, grabbing Louis’ chin with his hand. “Can I kiss you?”

 

“Since when do you have to ask?” Louis said with a slightly frown.

 

“Since when you aren’t mine.”

 

“Tonight I am, no?”

 

“Say it then...”

 

“Kiss me _, please_.” Harry smiled at that.

 

“What else, petal?” Harry managed to said, voice low and soft.

 

“I’m yours.” Louis whispered like warm honey, as a soft pink blush spread across his cheeks. Harry first gently kissed the soft skin between Louis’ eyebrows, to after press a slow one on his mouth, tongue flickering his lips.

 

“You’re right,” Harry said, raspy voice, full of want. Lips softly brushing Louis’. “It does taste like heaven." Harry heard a soft sound that escaped from Louis’ mouth.

 

“You kissed me like the first time.” Louis’ voice was barely a murmur, glossy eyes blinking at him. Harry didn’t know if he was meant to hear that.

 

_‘Fuck.’_

 

“Wanna go home with me, baby?” Harry said with hoarse voice.

 

“Always.” Louis breathed.

 

\--

 

Harry was struggling to remember how to breathe, he felt like a teenager. Louis allowed his possessive hands to grip his hips, pulling him so very close. He knew he was going to leave a mark. He squeezed him harder. If Harry was sure of one thing, it was that he will always crave and need Louis as desperately as he did in that moment.

 

“Are you sure about this, petal?” Harry said against Louis’ lips while they stumbled on his bed, both their clothes scattered all over the floor. He felt his heart beating in his throat and for a moment, he thought Louis could feel it too.

 

“Yes, so _so_ sure.” Louis said with deliciously red cheeks and slack mouth.

 

He crawled into Harry’s lap, shaky hands tightly gripping his broad shoulders. He wasn’t drunk, yet when Louis started to move, he felt dizzy and so _so_ high. However, Louis was shaking and maybe a bit drunk, so Harry knew what the right thing to do was. His body was going to hate him for this, but his mind was already feeling proud about it.

 

“I don’t want you to regret this in the morning,” said Harry with the last bit of rationality he had left after Louis started to grind his ass against his crotch. “Baby, look at me,” He grabbed Louis neck with one hand, fingers digging his neck, thumb caressing his bottom lip. “Are you drunk?”

 

The way Louis looked at him in that moment will haunt his wet dreams forever. He looked ready to receive anything Harry would give to him. Harry was strong, but so weak for him. Louis’ eyes fluttered and a flash of doubt crossed his features. It was just a second before he hid his face in Harry’s neck, but Harry saw it nevertheless.

 

“I won’t, I promise,” Louis said, wet lips curving against Harry’s jaw and giggled. He didn’t have to reply to his question, Harry knew he was drunk and while he was dying to lick and fuck all night, he couldn’t do it. Not like this.

 

“You’re drunk, gorgeous.” He said taking Louis’ cheeks with his hands and pressing a chaste kiss against his lips. “I want you to be aware of what’s going on, I want you to feel everything.”

 

“Don’t call me gorgeous. ‘M still your baby, right? Your love?” Harry felt something swell inside his chest.

 

“You will always be my love, my baby petal.”

 

“Your _princess_?”

 

“You’re my everything, Louis.” Harry said still grabbing Louis face with both hands. “ _Everything._ ”

 

Louis kissed him hungrily, tongue shoving inside Harry’s mouth. He moved his hands from Louis’ face to his ass, Louis clutched Harry’s hair with needy hands.

 

 “I want you to fuck me _so bad_. I need you so much.” Said Louis squirming on Harry’s lap.

 

“God, love. You’re making this _really_ hard.” Harry groaned weakly trying to not grind against Louis’ arse.

 

“ _Hard._ ” Louis repeated, breaking the kiss so he could giggle freely.

 

Harry let out a throaty chuckle against Louis’ neck. “Come on, baby,” he lightheartedly squeezed Louis’ ass. “Let’s sleep.” He lifted him off his lap and gently lay him on the bed. “If you still want me in the morning, I’ll give it to you. Anything you want…”

 

Louis sighed but didn’t fight him. “Can we cuddle?” He whispered with droopy eyes while reaching the back of Harry’s neck, hand tenderly caressing his hair.

 

Harry softly pushed Louis’ hair off his face, legs now intertwined. “Of course we can.” 

 

\--

 

Harry woke up slowly and pleasantly, feeling completely relaxed and safe. His arm holding a pliant and warm body against his. Cock hard and nestled in someone’s arsecheeks. Not just someone, _Louis’_ arsecheeks.

 

Harry didn’t need to open his eyes, didn’t even need to be fully awake to know who he was holding. He knew Louis’ body better than his, knew every freckle, every mark. Knew if he moved his hand from his toned and lean torso to his lower tummy he would find the soft and warm flesh he so much loved to rub, bite and kiss. Knew the sweet smell of his sleep-warm body.

 

At the thought of it, he nuzzled his face into Louis’ nape. Harry felt shorter soft hair tickle his lips. He smiled and pulled Louis closer, unconsciously burring his dick further against his crack. Louis moaned softly and arched his back, hand grabbing Harry’s ass and pulling him closer.

 

“Morning,” Louis whispered, “I’m very sure, very sober, and you feel very _very_ good.”

 

Louis rolled over easily and instantly opened his legs so Harry could fit between him. Harry kissed him roughly as a reward. He’s such a good boy, Harry’s good boy.

 

Harry could feel Louis’ hard cock pulse against his naked skin. There’s always something so incredibly delicate and mesmerizing about touching the person you love first thing in the morning. About running his hands over Louis’ smooth and soft skin, fingers leaving untraceable warmth lines all over his body.

 

A mixture of heat and fear ran through Harry’s insides, this could be their last time being this close. He didn’t know if Louis would ever let him touch him like that morning ever again. So following old habits, Harry got mentally ready to give Louis the fuck of his life. Because if they were about to end everything, they had to do it with a bang.

 

_‘This way you will know, that nobody does it better, nobody will ever do better. It will always be me.’_

“I’m gonna need you to open your pretty holes for me. Mouth first.” Said Harry while pushing two fingers inside Louis’ mouth. He eagerly obeyed sucking both, body always ready to please Harry in whatever he asked.  He didn’t stop until his finger were dripping in his spit. He already looked blissed out, as if sucking Harry’s fingers wasn’t a task but a pleasure, a privilege. The way Louis made Harry feel was very dangerous, he made him feel powerful,  _loved_.

 

“That’s enough, _princess._ ” Harry said. Louis moaned around his fingers but let him go. “I have lube in my nightstand but I want you to feel just my fingers first because I know that’s what you need right now.”

 

Louis grabbed Harry’s hand, desperately guiding him down his ass. “Easy, baby. I need you to grab the lube first. Can you do that for me?”

 

“But you said—” Louis whimpered.

 

“I know what I said, I still need the lube for later. I’m planning to fuck you all morning.”  Harry said with an innocent smile.

 

“Shit, alright.” Louis replied breathlessly while untangling himself from Harry.

 

Harry waited for Louis to be on all fours, grabbing the lube, to shove his dripping-wet fingers into his ass.

 

Louis halted and moaned under his breath. “Shit.”

 

“Did you drop the lube, baby?” Harry said, arm holding Louis close by the waist and fingers moving slowly in and out of him. “Come on, petal, pick it up.”

 

“Can’t— feel _so_ good.” Louis softly whimpered, pliant body and face flushed against the bed.

 

“Sure you can. You’re already taking my fingers so good, baby, so perfect.” Harry couldn’t get enough of the feeling of making Louis feel as precious as he saw him. “You just need to pick up the lube so I can fuck you just the way you like.”

 

As soon as Louis started to move, Harry pressed his fingers even deeper inside him. He felt Louis’ ring quivering around him.

 

“ _Please_ —” Louis managed to say.

 

“Please what, princess?” Harry worked his mouth over Louis’ neck, sucking and licking at it between gentle bites. “Pick up your lube.”

 

“Please let me— _oh fuck.”_ And with that sound, Harry knew he hit the right spot.

 

He kept stroking there with still slow, but precise movements. Louis swore under his breath, helplessly swaying his hips at the rhythm of Harry’s fingers.

 

“Watch your mouth, kitten.” Harry said before landing a hard smack on his ass, pulling an adorable choking sound out of Louis. “If you don’t behave, I’m gonna leave you here all hard and wet. The only thing you will get out of me will be pancakes.”

 

“Want that too, want everything with you, only you.” Louis was always putty in Harry hands, so he didn’t let those words get into his head… much.

 

“Oh I’ll give you all the pancakes you want but first, I’m gonna fill this lovely ass of yours with my cum.” Harry said while licking around the shell of Louis ear.

 

“I win anyway.” Louis squirmed in his grip and Harry lazily grinned against his neck.

 

“Baby if you win… I win.” Harry chuckled, sucking hard on his favorite spot right at the end of Louis’ jawline.

 

He let go of Louis’ waist and grabbed his hand, guiding him until they both reached the bottle of lube sitting on the floor, fingers laced through his. Harry’s cock swelling even more in the beginning of Louis’ crack.

 

“Now, face down on the bed.”

 

Louis quickly obeyed and Harry took his time to admire the sight in front of him, a stark naked Louis, presenting his spit-wet hole, just for him.  

 

He parted his arsecheeks with both thumbs and circled Louis’ rim with his tongue, letting the tip dip into his hole. Louis let out a hard gasp, elbows pressed against the bed after his hands gave up. Harry started to give a little thrust with his tongue, hands grabbing Louis’ ass bruisingly tight after he started to squirm and seek a bit of friction for his neglected cock.

 

“Stay still.” Harry ordered with a muffled and hoarse voice before fastening his pace, tongue driving in and out of Louis’ rim.

 

“ _Please,_ ” Louis choked out with shaky breath. “I—I need you inside of me _so_ bad, I need you close, always close, _daddy_ , please.”

 

Louis was going to be the death of Harry someday.

 

Harry replied to him with a hard smack against his left arsecheek, tongue still fucking into his ass at the same time as the fingernails of his right hand dug half-mooned marks on Louis’ hipbone. He was about to grab the lube to give Louis exactly what he wanted when he heard a hard knock on the door.

 

“Uh… guys, I’m—so so sorry to interrupt but—umm, Noah is here?” Harry felt Louis body go completely still at the sound of Liam’s hesitant voice. Harry grabbed him harder.

 

“On your back.” Harry told Louis. Louis moved his head, looking at Harry with a confused frown in his face.

_“Harry-”_ Louis started, but Harry stopped him before he could say more.

 

“Didn’t you hear me, baby? I want you on your back, _now_.” Harry said with commanding voice.

 

Louis moved slowly and Harry noticed he was shaking from head to toe. “Can you tell daddy your color?”

 

“Green.” Louis breathed, word cracking at the end while he readjusted himself in the bed.

 

“Promise?” Harry asked as he soothingly brushed his thumb on Louis’ lower lip.

 

“Yes, daddy.” Louis said staring into Harry’s eyes, face misted with sweat, docile eyes and blotchy cheeks.

 

And there it was, after everything, his boy was giving him all his power, his trust. Harry felt like crying by the sight of Louis’ surrender. Honored by the responsibility he was given again.

 

“There’s my princess.” Harry said before kissing him as careful and slowly as he could as Louis sighed and moaned against his mouth. Harry knew he was going to wank to that sound for the rest of his life.

 

“Um, guys?” Liam knocked three more times.

 

“Tell him we are coming.” Harry snapped at Liam, adoring eyes never leaving Louis’.

 

“’We’ as in… Louis and you or—Harry you know I hate confrontation.” Liam said with defeated voice, Louis giggled under him.

 

“Just tell him that.” Harry yelled at Liam and with softer voice he added, _“Please.”_

 

“What are you doing?” Louis whispered with puffy red lickable lips after seeing Harry was moving down his body.

 

“Pleasing my king.” Harry said with rough voice, playing with the string of precum connecting the tip of Louis’ perfect dick to his stomach, making Harry’s mouth water.

 

“I thought I was your princess.”

 

“I told you, you are my everything.” He said before wrapping his lips around Louis’ cock and sucking it. Louis let out a loud moan and Harry could hear Liam’s “Jesus fucking _Christ_.” from afar.

 

Louis was still shaking under him and Harry licked slowly along Louis’ head, enjoying his tangy flavor against his tongue. He sucked it gently and teasingly, hand moving lower pressing the soft flesh between his balls and his crack. Louis made a throaty sound, one hand scratching Harry’s back slightly as the other grabbed his hair.

 

Harry took all of him until his nose touched Louis’ smooth pelvis, throat full of him. He saw Louis throw his head back, Harry squeezed his hips twice signaling he could come. And after a few more thrust, Louis was coming with a loud cry, hips thrusting clumsily in and out his mouth.

 

Harry lifted himself onto his knees, fully aware of the dumb smile he was sporting on his face, cum on his chin and all. Louis gave him a blissed out smile back and then he kissed him. It was sloppy, clumsy, desperate, Harry’s favorite type of kiss.

 

“Do you want me to…”

 

Harry was dying to say yes, but he was aware that if he let Louis suck him, he probably would end up fucking him all morning as he promised, but their time was limited and both of them knew that.

 

Giving Louis a chaste last kiss on his nose, Harry said, “I’m good, baby. Let’s get you those pancakes.”

 

Seeing Louis’ happy smile after he said that, made the ache on his hard cock completely worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello im brandi aka the beta for this fic aka andy's child aka andy's best friend and I just wanted to say im sOrry this took so long but andy is dumb. also louis n alex belong together.


	5. V. Eventually

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Song: [ Eventually - Tame Impala](https://youtu.be/4jDn9ClQgYw).

Harry was hard inside his joggers, _painfully_ so. And Louis was wearing Harry’s clothes, still looking undeniable and thoroughly well fucked. Harry was. _Extremely. Painfully. Hard._

He could see Louis was slightly nervous beside him but didn’t know if it was because he was about to spend an entire weekend with the guy Harry was supposedly dating or if was because he was about to meet him smelling like sex and Harry.

 

“Hello handsome, there you are.” Said Noah as cheerful as ever. He tried to kiss Harry on the mouth, but he subtly swayed his head, Noah’s mouth landing on his cheek. He needed to talk to him as soon as possible.

_‘Can you smell him on me?’_

 

“Thought you weren’t coming until later this afternoon?” Harry said after a brief hug.

 

“I know, but I wanted to surprise you.” Noah said beaming. “Liam told me you were at the beach. Did you just sunbathe?”

 

He heard Louis coughing behind him.

 

“No.” Harry replied, mind running fast to find the quickest way to make Louis feel less uncomfortable. “Hey, have you met Louis?” He said, because of course, the quickest way to do that was to bring the source of his discomfort even closer.

 

Louis looked gorgeous startled, pink spreading from his cheeks to his neck and collarbones that were in full display thanks to Harry’s big jumper.

 

“Hi, nice to meet you.” Louis said a bit breathless as he tried to cover the bite marks on his neck. Harry did that, he smiled at the thought.

 

_‘What the fuck are you doing?’_

“My god, same!” Noah said smiling and excitedly, not noticing or deciding to ignore the situation, hugging Louis two beats longer than necessary. “You all look even cuter in person.”

 

Louis visibly relaxed a bit after that but Harry’s tensed, eyes fixated in the places where Noah was touching Louis.

 

“He is _definitely_ a hugger,” Niall said coming out from the kitchen. Harry glared at him. “What? I like him.”

“So darling,” Harry said a little more loudly than he intended but that made Noah let go of Louis. “How was your trip?

He ranted about it with puppy-like excitement and the only thing on Harry’s mind was to go back to his room with Louis and stay there for the rest of their days here, wrapped around each other.

 

Brunch passed easily, everyone rejecting Harry’s pancakes but Louis who eagerly and happily ate every single one Harry offered him. It took Harry all the strength in the world to not to kiss his syrupy sticky lips every time he moaned or smiled while eating them.

 

Noah was charming his way around the heart of everyone, including Louis’. He could see it in the way Louis smiled at him. Harry was aware both Louis and Noah were natural flirts, but it was weird seeing it in action and being applied to each other.

 

“Hey um, maybe you uh—” Harry tried to say to Noah while they walked to the pool where everyone was at.

 

“What?”

 

“Can you please not flirt with him?” As soon as he said that he heard how awfully lame he sounded.

 

Noah laughed freely and beautifully. “Babe, you know I don’t top like… at all, right?”

 

“It’s really not that…” Harry trailed.

 

“Hey, I get it, don’t worry.” Noah said while supporting his weight on his tippy toes and kissing Harry’s jaw. “I won’t do it anymore. I’m playing the dutiful boyfriend here, yeah?” He had a familiar spark in his eyes, the same spark that made him want to fuck him all night long that first night. The same spark that made him want to come back to him like anybody else since Louis.

 

Harry knew that in that moment he had the option to grab Noah by the ass and take him to his room, so he could fix the hard on he had since the morning. Not only that but he had the option to make this right, _real_. Things with Noah could be so easy, they had so many things in common and like he said before, he had that something that Harry couldn’t explain but was so desperate to reach and have.

 

Before he could say anything, he felt slim arms crept around his naked torso, Harry had to suppress the urge to shiver, knowing very well who was behind him.

 

“Are you coming?” Louis said before biting his shoulder playfully.

 

In that moment, Harry realized that every feeling for any other person became frail and dull in comparison to what he felt for Louis. There was no other smile, freckles or smell that could compete with him. It was never going to be a fair match, because it was only Louis, the one he wanted to grow old with, to travel the world, to always wake up to.

 

Harry twisted his arms so he also could hug Louis’ back, then he kissed the top of his head. “Do you want me to put sunscreen on your back, lazy kit?

 

 “Always.” Louis giggled as he smacked a loud kiss on Harry’s shoulder. “But hurry up, cause Liam is making margaritas and Niall and I are gonna finish them all.” He said while giving him a light smack on his ass before leaving.

 

Harry’s mom should feel proud about the inner control his son showed that afternoon.

 

“I really like you around him.” Noah said.

 

“Hmm?” Harry absently replied while he looked at Louis’ ass sway away from him.

 

“Louis,” Noah clarified getting Harry’s full attention. “I like you around him. I’m so used to this image of you, this—this cool persona, sometimes too good to be attached to anything or anyone.” He continued with a soft smile. “But you’re different with him. He makes you look more human. More tender. Tender friends.”

 

“Tender… _friends.”_ Harry said the last part a bit choked out.

 

Harry saw Noah opening his mouth and was sure more words came out of it but Niall’s loud “Alex is here.” Made his brain go blank.

 

 “Who’s Alex?” Noah asked innocently.

 

“Louis’ boyfriend.” Harry said while walking towards the front foyer with Noah besides him.

 

Harry could already hear Alex’s “Missed you, gorgeous.” from where he was standing.

 

Noah dug his fingernails in Harry’s forearm. “Oh shit, Alex is… _that_ Alex. Fuck, alright.”

 

Louis heard that and laughed good naturally. “Are you alright, love?”

 

“No I mean, I’m _fine_ , I just might not be _okay_ — this is quite unexpected.”

 

Alex let Louis go and moved to meet Noah. The look he gave Harry after that made him feel for some type of reason a bit judged and exposed. He could hardly understand why because what did he expect? For Harry to be single and longing forever after the relationship he and Louis once had?

 

 Harry _definitely_ was doing that, but Alex didn’t have to _know_ that.

 

“I’m a huge fan.” Noah said starry eyed.

 

“Aren’t we all?” Harry grumped out a little more loudly than he intended.

 

“Did you say something?” Alex asked him with challenge in his eyes and voice. This was the first interaction they had since the last time they saw each other almost a month ago. Harry didn’t expect better from them.

 

“What if, we all start drinking and getting ready to go out, eh?” Niall suggested with forced cheerfulness as he grabbed some of Alex’s bags. “I also have to show you some stuff I wrote, they’re a mess but I think they have some salvation.”

 

Louis looked at him with an odd expression on his face. Harry’s bite marks all over his torso and neck. He looked like a work of art. _Harry’s_ work of art.

 

_‘Did Alex see them? Did he even care about that?’_

 

“Come on, handsome,” Noah said as he dragged him outside. “I need some drinks after this.”

 

Harry couldn’t agree more.

 

\--

 

Harry was buzzed and slightly irritated. Alex spent all afternoon and night all over Louis. The petty part of it was Harry wishing Louis would feel fed up with the attitude and just dump Alex right there. But Louis was smiling, and Harry loved that, that smile was one of most important priorities in his life. So, he stayed quiet and danced until his feet hurt and drank until almost all his intrusive thoughts were muted.

 

“I want you to fuck me  _so_ hard tonight.” Noah said close to his ear when they arrived to the villa. And by the reaction Louis had, he was sure everyone heard it too.

 

Alex laughed loudly “ _God_.” He said after wobbling his way inside the living room. “Sorry, sorry, I’m clearly not laughing at you,” he looked at Noah with a pitiful smile. “You’re obviously a lovely boy. I think Harry and I can agree on that.” He added, and gave Harry a very odd look. “It’s just… funny. I don’t know, I’m drunk, I’m sorry.” Still looking at Harry, he added “Really.”

 

Just like that afternoon, Harry felt exposed in front of Alex, like if he knew something Harry hasn’t caught on yet. He looked at him with something akin to pity and Harry could handle a lot of things, but pity wasn’t one of them.

 

“What are you sorry for?” Harry asked as calm as possible. “Getting drunk on a holiday trip and making a mess out of yourself?”

 

“Harry…” Niall warned him and Louis frowned.

 

_‘There we go.’_

“What?” Harry laughed. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. We all are a little buzzed anyway. Right, kitten?” He said to a sloshed Noah while looking at Louis. He knew it wasn’t fair, he also knew he was doing exactly what he promised not to. Harry was hurting Louis. Even if he couldn’t understand why Louis was getting hurt by but he could clearly see it on his eyes.

 

“I think it’s better if we all just go to our rooms.” Louis told him, almost sounding defeated. This was the first time Louis spoke to him almost all night. He probably decided that today, Harry wasn’t worth his time.

 

_‘It was only a matter of time.’_

 

 Louis looked at him from afar with that same strange look he has been sporting since some time ago.

 

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Harry replied, at the same time Niall said, “Let me help you with Alex.”

 

“I’ll go with you.” Said Liam then looking at Harry, he added. “Do you want me to take Noah with me?”

 

“I can walk alone. Look!” He said while firmly stomping his feet, walking to Harry’s room.

 

“I really like him.” Niall laughed while looking at Harry as he walked away with Alex in tow.

 

 “Hey—” Louis said to Harry and cleared his throat. “If you want… I can come by after—“

 

“No.” Harry interrupted him harshly. “You stay with him. Last thing I want is to smell him on you while I fuck you.”

 

A mixture of shock and anger crossed Louis’ features. For a moment, Harry thought he would lash out, but after a few seconds, Louis’ stare went completely blank.

 

 “You never cared before.” Louis said flatly, but with a hint of reproach and hurt hidden behind it. He looked pissed off and small. Harry was having an awful time seeing him like that.

 

“Well, things clearly change.” He replied anyway before walking away.

 

\--

 

“Oh, you’re back!” Noah said cheerfully drunk from Harry’s bed. “I was going to start wanking myself or something.” Harry started to change his clothes without replying. “You looked a bit over it out there. God this bed is comfy,” He heard some shuffling on the bed but kept focusing on not thinking about what Louis might be doing later tonight. “Smells good too. Did you wank a lot while I was away? _God,_ I’m _so_ horny.”

 

Harry decided to ignore the last thing and only replied, “Well, the night was a bit boring, no?"

 

“No, don’t think so. The food was good, the drinks were amazing and oh—Alex Turner told me I was a lovely lad.” Noah giggled. “He and Louis are _so_ hot. But also kinda cute, even cuter than you and Louis, and that’s like… insane because you two look like puppies who can’t stop licking and biting each other, but they look so cool.”

 

“You found everyone slightly famous hot and cool.” Harry replied bit harshly. He didn’t intend to snap like that, but that was the problem with a drunk Noah. He just couldn’t shut up.

 

“Someone is grumpy, I see.”

 

“Sorry,” Harry sat down and Noah slid his feet onto his lap. He started to rub his ankle and heard the content sigh that escaped from Noah’s lips. So easy. “I’m just a bit tired. Suddenly there’s too much people and noise in the house.”

 

“Mmm.” Noah hummed. “So… when is Mitch coming?”

 

“He isn’t...” Said Harry, hands crawling up Noah’s back leg.

 

“Oh… why not?” Noah asked, breathing speeding up while Harry continued with his massage, digging away the knots of tension in his calf. He was petite but his legs were strong due all the years he played lacrosse. Harry liked that about him, _so_ much.

 

“It didn’t really cross my mind to invite him.” Harry said absently.

 

He really liked a lot small things about Noah. Like how funny and easy-going he was, but at the same time smart enough to know when to stop. How Harry couldn’t put him in a single box, because while he was elegant and soft-mannered, he also ate like a pig sometimes, enjoying every piece of food as if it was a gourmet meal. His level of maturity and his ability of being a complete brat in lovely and charming way.

 

Harry liked a lot of small things about Noah so, it didn’t make sense as to why he couldn’t like _all_ of him.

 

“It didn’t cross it or you didn’t dare?” Said Noah as he pulled his leg from Harry’s grip.

 

“I— _what?_ ” Harry was lost trying to understand what Noah just said. Maybe he was a lot more drunk than he thought.

 

“Nothing, forget about it, I’m tipsy and horny and you look so _so_ good.” Noah clumsily tried to crawl onto Harry’s lap.

 

“I’m not really in the mood, love.” Harry said gently as he stopped Noah. “I’m sorry.”

 

“You miss him that much?” Noah said sitting beside him.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Noah huffed, leaning back against the bed. “Why don’t you text him then?”

 

 _‘Because he’s probably being fucked by his boyfriend right now.’_ Harry wanted to say. He bitterly laughed and replied instead, “And what should I send him?”

 

“I don’t know… ask him what’s up?”

 

_‘But what if he ignores the texts or worse, what if he sees them and laughs about them. Do you want him to know how desperate you are? How needy you are for him and his attention. How pate—’_

Harry squeezed his eyes tightly while pushed his hair out of his face. He wasn’t that person anymore. It was a long and tiresome road to walk, but he proudly was doing it.

 

But that was the thing with insecurities, they won’t leave your body when you learn where they come from and how useless they are. Harry was fully aware there will be nights where he’s going to falter and doubt himself. Nights where he will question his worth and the things he deserves. But he also was aware he needed to push forward, _always_. It was a promise.

 

So, he pushed forward. “Yeah, I might do that.”

 

“Great,” Noah said in an odd tone. “Are you going to sleep here?”

 

Harry contemplated the idea for a moment. It’d be nice to not wake up alone, he could even play with the fantasy that Louis was beside him. However, that was _extremely_ fucked up and unfair to Noah. The boy was doing plenty enough for him already.

 

“Nah, don’t think so. Is that okay with you?” Harry said, getting up from the bed.

 

“Yeah, whatever.” Said Noah as he stripped the bed off.

 

“I’m really sorry.”

 

In his defense, he really felt sorry. He wished he could give Noah something as simple as what he wanted. And a week ago, he’d have easily agreed. Harry wasn’t one to deny a night of simple and well needed release, but after all the talking he did with Louis that week, a lot of things came into perspective.

 

“It’s fine, really.” Noah waved off, still sounding a bit odd. “I can’t force you to be in the mood.” Then he added with a flirty smile. “We can fuck tomorrow anyway.”

 

Harry laughed. “Sure, why not.”

 

 

\--

 

It took Harry several minutes, a few tries and a lot of courage to finally send the first text. However, after that, he seemed unable to stop himself from sending more.

 

_is he giving it to u good?_

_the way u need?_

_when the fuck are u gonna realize u don’t_

_need more cocks, you just need mine_

Time passed by and Harry was losing hope. He got one thing clear; Louis wasn’t going to reply, not today, not tomorrow, probably not ever. And it was okay, because no matter what happened the next day, he pushed forward, he tried, he did something.

 

 Pouring himself another glass of water, he was getting mentally ready to go to one of the spare rooms when he heard someone stomping in the hallway.

 

The last thing he expected while he followed the sound was to find an angry Louis walking towards his room. Harry tried to stop him but he was already barging inside it.

 

“What the fuck is wro—oh god, I’m so sorry.” Said Louis nervously, quickly turning the light off. 

 

“Hey.” Harry said calmly while the tug of his heart got almost painful.

 

_‘He came.’_

 

“What’s going on?” Noah said disoriented and half-asleep.

 

“Nothing, go back to sleep.” Harry ordered Noah. Louis looked confused, eyes so big, so blue. “Come here,” he curled a hand around Louis’ wrist and started to walk towards a spare room.  “We need to talk.”

 

For someone who just barged in a room almost screaming bloody murder, Louis was very _very_ quiet.

 

“What were you thinking?” Harry said after seeing Louis wasn’t going to talk. “Did you even think that through?” Harry moved closer until their chests were almost touching. Louis let him. “What if we were fucking?” He lowered his face and hissed in Louis’ ear, “Would’ve you liked to see that? Me fucking another man?” Louis balled his fists. Harry smiled in the shell of his ear. “Imagining how good my cock would feel inside you while I pound another tight little ass?” He asked, wetting his lips, tongue softly caressing Louis’ earlobe. “Thinking how much better it would fit in you, _only_ you.”

 

One of the things he disliked the most about himself was his need to get a reaction out of Louis, even if it hurt both of them in the process.

 

“What were _you_ thinking?” Louis snapped finally getting out of his daze, pointer finger digging into Harry’s chest. “I truly don’t understand you anymore. One minute you’re the sweetest, most amazing person in the whole fucking world, then you turn into an absolute bastard. One minute you want to fuck and touch me and the next—” Louis chuckled bitterly, eyes casted down. “The next, you’re disgusted by my mere presence.”

 

Harry wanted to snap back, wanted to scream how fucking dare he, to even think anybody let alone Harry could be disgusted by him. How incredibly ridiculous it was. However, when he was about to do it, stormy eyes, full of anger and sadness looked up to him and all the fight left his body.

 

“Baby,” Harry started. He felt Louis try to pull away but Harry held him still. “No, you’re going to listen to me. 92% of the time, I find you fascinating. All of you. From your laugh to your mind.” Harry said with soft voice, thumb caressing Louis’ neck until it found the frenzied beat of his pulse. “You make me want to know more, not only about you or the world in general, but about _me_.”

 

“So the other percent is you hating my guts.” Louis said flatly, still avoiding Harry’s eyes.

 

“The other eight percent” Harry said with mirth in his voice. “is me finding you annoyingly hot and wanting to smack that bouncy ass of yours.”

 

“Stop, I’m serious.” Louis detached his body from Harry’s arms. “What’s going on?”

 

“I don’t know. I’m just…” Harry trialed. Just what? It wasn’t as if he could just say it hurt to see Louis slowly fall in love with someone else that wasn’t him. That was selfish. Childish. Louis would hate him for that.

 

“Just what?” Louis said with a strange look in his face.

 

“I’m just worried about you, I guess.”

 

“Worried about me…” Louis repeated, eyes flat and with a hint of disappointment.

 

“I mean, can you blame me?” Harry said defensively. “Everyone knows you’re attracted to assholes, baby. What if you end up falling in love with one.”

 

The silence after Harry said that was defying. Louis’ expression hardened for a few seconds before turned completely blank.

 

“Don’t worry.” Louis said almost robotically. “I already did that and I turned out _just_ fine.”

 

Something ugly recoiled on Harry’s stomach. He didn’t want to hear this. All the _‘what ifs’_ crumbling in one single sentence. Louis was in _love_.

 

Harry knew he should be happy for his best friend, because this is what he wanted for Louis, his happiness. And what more happiness he can ask than to love and being reciprocated. Harry should be happy for Louis. He wasn’t.

 

\--

 

_‘You’re so precious to me.’ Harry caught himself thinking while holding Louis close to his chest. It was the night after that dreadful threesome._

_Harry didn’t even remember how it all started. But he knew that sometimes he just had to take what he was offered._

_He wasn’t complaining about their system. Because for many years, it worked for them. Neither Louis nor Harry were cheaters, so if they reached a point where they missed being with each other while being in an exclusive relationship, they talked with their partners about it._

_It was practical, easy, and usually really hot. Nobody took him like Louis and nobody took Louis like him. And Harry loved to see their faces when the retaliation hits them._

_There was only two times Harry felt insecure about the whole deal. One of them being that night with Alex. But Louis came back after he left him that same morning, he came back to Harry with flushed cheeks and something akin to hope in his eyes. Harry dared to hope too._

_‘Say it, just say it. He needs to know.’_

_“Lou—” Harry said before he was interrupted by Louis._

 

_“Alex told me he’s in love with me.” Louis said as he hid his face in Harry’s chest._

_It was then when Harry realized, the hope in his eyes came from Alex not from being with him._

_“Oh…”_

_“I didn’t say it back.” Louis quickly added. “I think he still wants to try.”_

_“Try what?” Harry felt numb. Arms tingling as if dozens of frozen ants were walking through them. The analogy didn’t make sense, but nothing about this made sense either._

_“I don’t know…. What’s right for me?  For us?” Louis looked up at him, eyes full of something Harry’s fuzzy mind didn’t have the time to categorize. “What do you think?”_

_‘I’m what’s right for you.’ Harry wanted to reply. “That sounds fun.” He said instead._

_Louis casted his eyes down without saying anything more. He didn’t look up again at all that night._

_\--_

“What are you thinking?” Louis asked with furrowed brows and worried eyes. Because that was the other thing, no matter how upset they were with each other, Louis always worried for him.

 

 Sometimes, Harry couldn’t help but think Louis only stayed just to make sure Harry was actually okay. To stop his worries.

 

“Nothing,” Said Harry because it was easier. Because it was late. Because Louis was in love. “That I love those joggers on you. I need to buy you some more.” Because he was a moron.

 

Louis eyes hardened. “I need you to stop treating me as if you were my boyfriend.” He said with clenched jaw, Harry mirrored him.

 

“Like… in front of your _other_ boyfriend or…” Harry said, voice sounding as teasing as it was sorrow. Body leaning closer to Louis.

 

“Everywhere, Harry. It’s not fun anymore.” Said Louis firmly. Harry slowly and carefully tried to slide an arm around his waist. Louis let out a shaky and long breath; nevertheless, he let Harry pull him closer. “And there’s no ‘other boyfriend’, because in any case Alex would be my _only_ boyfriend so there’s no need for the _‘other’_ part. And considering Alex isn’t even that…” Louis continued babbling as Harry slowly leaned his head closer to him and worked his mouth over his neck in gentle nibbles.  “There’s—there’s n-no point in any of this.”

 

_‘You just told me you want me to stop. Why are you letting me do this to you?’_

 

“Baby,” Harry said while Louis pliantly tilted his head to the side, letting Harry trail the end of his jawline with his lips. “You look the prettiest when you lie.” He whispered in the shell of his ear. And before Louis could leave him again, Harry left first.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> andy stinks stan exo


	6. VI. Great Dane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter Song:** [Great Dane by Cosmo Pyke](https://youtu.be/UOjZF_38u_M)

Alex woke up pissed off and hangover. Granted, he knew what he was getting when he accepted to come to that trip, but didn’t know the guilt would hit him as hard as when he saw Harry’s new boy toy.

For all the months he tried to rebuild his relationship with Louis, he never once felt guilty for what he said or rather what he didn’t say. It wasn’t his problem but Harry’s. He had the opportunity to tell Louis his real feelings during all these months and even after Alex confessed, he never did. So Alex didn’t feel any type of guilt.

Until the day prior that morning. 

Alex was aware that trip was the ultimate test for Louis and his relationship, if they came out alive and happy from that, it was almost a granted thing they would survive absolutely anything. He also was aware it was like a game of Russian roulette where anything could happen. From finding Louis all marked up by Harry –thing that actually happened– to arriving with the news that Harry had told Louis what he felt about him and decided to elope. 

However, he didn’t quite expect Noah.

Beautiful, innocent Noah. Noah who eerily looked like a rougher and blonder version of Louis and nobody seemed to notice. From the height to the personality. He even did that thing with his eyes that made him look as if he was blinking in slow motion, long dark lashes fanning over his chiseled cheekbones making him say yes to anything he asked.

It was unnerving.

This certainly complicated things for him, because guilt wasn’t part of his vacation plans. And it wasn’t like he could even get mad or blame Harry for the situation because well… been there, done that, and all that jazz….

\--

Alex didn’t even want to go to that party to begin with. He was fucking tired and he very much preferred to be alone with Louis in his house instead of mingling with drunk assholes ogling his plus one. 

“Hi Alex,” a familiar voice called him from behind. “Long time no see…”

‘Well… shit.’

“Nathan!” Alex says, turning his body as he subtly tried to hide Louis with it. “How are you?”

“Cut the crap, Turner. I’m not in the mood tonight. What the fuck are you doing here?” 

Nathan looked pissed off and rightfully so. Things between them didn’t end on the best terms. Louis' hand squeezed his arm.

“I was invited. I didn’t know you were going to—" He couldn’t finish the sentence before Louis moved from behind him. Eyes wary and strong stance. Alex tried to stay as calm as possible.

“And who do we have here? Is he your new plaything?” Nathan said directly looking at Louis.

Louis laughed as if he had heard the best joke in his entire life, stance relaxed and in control. “Sure, why not. I’m exactly that.” He shrugged. 

After seeing the smug smile on Nathan’s face, he knew what was coming. He wanted to hurt, wanted to humiliate Louis.

“You might think you’re special—" Nathan started as Alex said to Louis, “I think we should leave…“

“But he will use you just like the rest of us.” Nathan continued while getting closer to them. “You’re just his type.”

“We really need to go.” 

Alex was about to drag Louis out of there when he heard Nathan say, “Does he call you Louis while you fuck, too?”

‘Fuck indeed…’

Alex was afraid to see Louis’ reaction. Nathan tried to humiliate Louis, but ended up humiliating him.

“I mean, sure.” Louis tilted his head. “That’s my name after all.” 

Alex’ head snapped after hearing the mirth on his voice. He was welcomed by a sharp smug smile on Louis’ face. 

“So it’s you…” Nathan ruefully chuckled.

“I’d be more offended you don’t know who I am, but I think you just got your heart a bit broken.” Louis said with a fake innocent smile. 

Alex perhaps was utterly smitten by the most beautiful and ruthless bastard.

 

\--

So he woke up pissed off, hungover and extremely guilty. He hated doing that to Nathan and it felt like he was indirectly doing the same thing to Noah too.

Starting to feel slightly more aware of his surroundings, he noticed Louis wasn’t in the room with him and by the state of his side of the bed, he probably didn’t even sleep there. 

He should feel mad about it, because he could only imagine who was with Louis and what they were doing. However, the guilt was bigger than any other feeling in that moment. Besides, there was no point of feeling jealous when he was sure Harry could never give Louis what he actually needed.

“He lives.” Said Louis coming out of the shower.

“Did you sleep here?

“No, I slept on the beach. Didn’t you know? Love the feeling of sand in my butt.” Louis said with flat tone before rolling his eyes playfully and continued drying his hair with a small towel.

“Bad night?”

“Kinda.” Louis plopped on the bed besides Alex, sighing. “I expected to spend the night with you but you had other ideas, I guess.”

“So, you spend the night with him?” Alex nudged Louis’ arm with his forefinger.

“Don’t….” Louis groaned and rolled his body, face hiding against Alex’s chest, leg and arm wrapping around him as if Louis were a human koala. “I can’t with this today.”

Alex wanted to ask what he meant with “this” and if he was included in it, but was scared for the reply.

“I gather you fought.” Alex stroked Louis' hair, knowing how much that relaxed the boy. “Was it because of me?”

He didn’t have to ask, he already knew the answer. It was plastered on Harry’s face since the moment he dared to touch Louis. The person Alex was dating and he certainly wasn’t. The person he let go and keep letting go. Alex tried to shrug off the bite marks, the possessive looks, everything but the night was simply too much. He guessed Harry felt the same.

“In part.” Louis said, voice muffled by his chest.

“How so?”

“He thinks you’re going to break my heart.” Louis said a bit spaced out. 

Alex's strokes stopped, just like his heart. “And what did you say?”

“That he already broke it years ago, so there’s nothing to worry about now.” Louis’ nonchalant tone felt like a small stab in Alex’s guts, just a small one.

“Fuck gorgeous, we need to learn how to filter our thoughts.” Alex laughed in spite of how much those words were hurting him.

In seconds, Louis was on top of him. Worried and alarmed eyes were looking directly at him. “God, I’m so sorry.” 

“No, it’s okay, we said no more bullshit. I like this.” Alex said reassuringly, hand stroking Louis’ cheek. “What did he say.”

“Nothing,” Louis shrugged. “He wanted to fuck.”

And this is why he knew Harry wasn’t meant for Louis in the long haul. No matter how much they wanted each other, and no matter how much Harry swore to be in love with Louis. At the end, everything was reduced to that for them, sex. 

“Did you…”

“No...” Louis trailed. Alex arched a brow. “Only because he didn’t want to at the end.” He mumbled. Alex could heard the shame on his voice.

He rolled off of Alex and laid his back against the bed, eyes looking at the ceiling. “I think he’s starting to fall for his boyfriend and he doesn’t know how to control that.” Louis said with calm voice and an indecipherable look. 

“So he's using you to at least have control over someone?” Alex perched onto his elbow.

“No.” Louis furrowed his brows. For an instant, a small trace of doubt crossed his features before shaking his head. “He’s not like that.”

“Louis, that’s exactly what’s going on. And the worst part is you’re letting him.”

Louis looked at Alex with curious eyes. “Aren’t we doing the same to each other anyway?”

“But we have talked about what we are doing. This is consensual and we're both fine with it.” Alex recited the discourse he has been repeating in his head since the day they started their relationship. Receiving a wryly quirked lip from Louis.

“Not at the beginning.” 

“But we came clean,” Alex said hovering Louis. “and that’s what makes us different from what you have with him. I’m not pretending I’m the perfect person for you,” he laughed. “maybe I’m the furthest of that. But I don’t give a fuck because I want you and you make me feel happy and alive.” Softer, he added. “I’ve never felt this way before and I refuse to lose that. I’m gonna fight for this.”

“You don’t have to fight for anything.” Louis replies with a soft smile. “I’m with you and I’m happy with what we have.”

“Good.” Alex rasped, kissing Louis’ jaw. “Because I plan to make you even happier than that.”

“That sounds dangerous.” Louis gasped at the feeling of teeth scrapping his neck.

“You know what’s really dangerous?” Alex whispered close to Louis’ ear.

“No… what?” Louis turned his face to see Alex. Big blue confused eyes, parted lips and flushed cheeks.

“You looking this gorgeous first thing in the morning.” Alex tried for a seductive smile but based on Louis laugh, he probably failed. “Want to laugh?” He asked before tickling Louis, fingers digging his waist.

“Stop you caveman, you stink!” Louis said throwing his head back laughing. After he recovered, he kissed Alex’s lips. “Go shower, then you can go all age of stone with me.” He rubbed his nose against Alex’s before pulling away and winking at him.

It was a simple gesture, but Alex felt uneasy. Usually, Louis was always ready and pliant for him, even when he was feeling down and after Alex or him finished one of their gigs. This was odd and new and left him with an empty feeling in the pit of his stomach.

‘It will pass…’ Alex thought, even when Louis’ eyes were telling him otherwise.

\--

The night felt humid and the air warm. It was almost suffocating, but the view was incomparable. Alex was sure he'd never seen this many stars in his life, it made everything feel timeless and ethereal or maybe it was just the weed. Either way it was worth it. As worthy as Louis’ legs burning his lap.

Alex let himself relax, eyes closed, just listening to the waves crashing against the shore. So far, it was a pretty uneventful night. They decided to stay in to ‘recover from last night’. Liam prepared a mean dinner and Niall became an expert mixologist. After they ate, they went to chill in the backyard close to the pool, they laughed, smoked, and drank more. It was almost good until Niall decided he wanted to go to sleep.

“I think I’m gonna go too.” Liam got up stretching himself. “My eyes are closing, I can’t even see straight.”

“If you were gay,” Louis said looking at the ocean wistfully. “I’d have so many witty remarks to that.” He turned to look at Liam with solemn eyes. “This is why you don’t deserve rights. This is you actively trying to hurt me.”

“I—” The poor boy was about to refute Louis’ statement or worse, asking for forgiveness for not being gay and hurting Louis in the process, but Niall loud cackles saved him from the embarrassment.

“He’s fucking messing with you again, mate.” Niall clapped Liam’s back. “I can’t believe you've known him for years and you still fall for that.”

“But he looks so hurt.” Liam whispered. This time none of them could control their laughter.

“Don’t laugh.” Louis said trying not to laugh. “I am very hurt.” He sniffed dramatically. “It hurts me that your poor status doesn’t let you enjoy the exquisiteness of life. For example, imagine not finding me alluring.” He said putting a hand on his chest.

Liam’s smile was so big, crinkles formed and replaced his eyes. “I’m straight, not blind.” He said as he left a big sloppy kiss on Louis’ forehead. 

“Don’t go.” Noah pouted from Harry’s lap. “We’re having so much fun.” He looked relaxed and content and Alex wondered if he truly didn’t notice the tension surrounding them.

Liam shook his head. “Can’t, I’m really knackered, but you lot have fun.” 

“Not too much.” Niall yelled from the sliding door.

“Have all the fun you want.” Liam winked at Alex. “See you guys, tomorrow.” He waved to all of them before leaving.

Alex was still looking to were Liam left when he felt Louis’ legs shifting on top of him. He was about to ask if something was wrong when he saw Noah whispering and nibbling Harry’s ear. 

“Can you pass me the bottle?” Harry asked Louis with a blank look on his face.

“Which one?” Louis replied with a disinterested one. 

“The champagne, Noah likes champagne.”

The bottle was closer to Harry than it was to Louis and Alex was two seconds from cutting the bullshit and telling Louis they should go inside. However, and knowing Louis, he knew saying that would only be counterproductive for him. So he sat very still and let things unfold.

Louis for his part, slowly, very slowly sat up and grabbed the bottle. “Do you also want a glass?” His voice had an unrecognizable edge.

“Yes plea—” Noah was cut off by Harry. “No, just the bottle is fine.”

Noah’s cheeks went from rosy to crimson in a matter of seconds after Harry grabbed the bottle and ordered him to open his mouth. He did what he was told anyways. Pliant, easy, and ready for Harry. 

“Want more?” Harry arched his brows as the boy looked shyly at Alex and Louis. Alex was trying very hard to no react at all while Louis played with his phone, not caring about what was happening in front of him. “Look at me, baby.” He commanded.

Louis’ eyes snapped at that, finally looking at the couple in front of him.

“Y-yes.” Noah whispered.

Not telling him twice, Harry poured champagne into his mouth and kissed Noah languidly. 

Alex felt Louis’ body go very still besides him, like a tense wire ready to snap in any moment, but the only thing that came from him was a small distressed whimper. It was so subtle that Alex thought he was the only one who heard it, but based on Harry’s intense gaze now directed only to Louis – even when his lap and lips were full of Noah – said otherwise. 

It was then when it dawned on Alex that all of this show was for Louis. From the champagne to the “baby”, it was all about trying to rip a reaction out of the boy sitting beside him. And the worst part was that the bastard succeeded. 

Harry broke the kiss even when Noah whimpered for more. It was too late.

“You want some?” The boy asked Louis with low voice and red bitten lips.

Alex turned to Louis who was already looking at him. He wasn’t questioning anything, just checking on him. Alex simply shrugged because why not? They were young and needed to get rid of all this sexual tension somehow and he very much preferred they did that in front of him.

Harry didn’t wait for a reply to come close to Louis, leaving a flushed and confused Noah on the couch. 

The warm air hitting Alex’s lungs felt like no air at all, as he saw Louis opening his legs for Harry with no instruction or command. 

“Open wide.” Harry rasped pulling Louis’ bottom lip down as he messily, slowly poured champagne all over his mouth and chin. “You spilt a bit, let’s clean you up.” He whispered before slowly licking a trail of champagne from his neck to his mouth. “Can I taste?” Harry was hovering Louis completely, one knee placed in the space between Louis’ legs so Alex couldn’t see or hear his answer, but he easily guessed what his reply was because Harry quickly changed positions and was kissing Louis’ fiercely. 

The kiss looked like a punishment, nothing compared to the tender, almost full of love ones they used to share last time Alex saw them. Maybe Alex was right and this time they were truly over.

“Fuck, that’s hot.” Noah rasped with an obvious hard-on. 

Harry stopped the kiss for a few seconds and shifted their bodies, so nor Noah nor Alex could see what was really happening between him and Louis. Alex still caught Louis squirming under him and breaking the kiss.

“Do you want to join the fun?” Louis asked Noah.

“What?” Harry and Alex said at the same time.

“Yeah, yes!” Noah replied excitedly, completely ignoring Harry and Alex reactions.

“Do you?” Louis looked at Alex expectantly. He could only nod in response. “Perfect. Your room or mine? He asked at Harry who was still almost all on top of him.

Louis didn’t question Harry if he wanted to, like he did with him and Noah. Although his eyes were more cautious for him, softer. As if he was asking him if he was okay with it.

Alex saw Harry nod once before kissing him again. They were doing it, now with Noah joining them. The guilt filling Alex’s guts sprung all over his body. He didn’t know how much the boy knew about Harry and Louis and how their… dynamics in bed worked. How selfish they usually were when they were together, greedy.

However, another part of him was still excited by it all. Alex loved every minute of Louis enjoying himself driven by the pleasure of two people giving all their attention to him and wanted to see how he’d react when the attention wasn’t on him. 

Would he squirm and whine until the attention was back at him or would he give Noah as much as he wanted to receive?

Alex shivered by the thought, whatever the night had prepared for them, he was ready.

Or at least that’s what he thought.


	7. VII. Tessellate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter Song:** [Tessellate by Alt-J](https://youtu.be/gHjnGbNBuAw)

Noah looked unsure and out of place while sitting on top of Harry’s bed. Alex remembered feeling like that just a few months ago, trying to act cool, but failing miserably.

“Brought water.” Harry furrowed his brows. “Where’s Louis?”

“Bathroom.” Alex replied. 

“Is he okay? Have you checked on him?” Harry said getting closer to the bathroom door.

To be completely honest, Alex didn’t know if Louis was okay. As soon as Harry disappeared for water, he locked himself inside the bathroom with no explanation. Wanting to give him his time and space, Alex stayed with Noah. He was doing the right thing. 

“I’m going in.” Harry said stubbornly. 

“Give him some time.” Alex rubbed his temples as Noah said, “Maybe he's getting ready.”

“He is—He doesn’t—I’m going in.” 

Harry opened the door at the same time Louis was coming out from the bathroom.

“Are you okay?” Harry asked, worried.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Your eyes are red.” Harry said flatly. Alex noticed the boy was right. 

Was Louis crying?

Louis laughed. “So are yours and Alex’s and everyone else's. That’s what happens when you smoke pot.” Louis took a few seconds to study Harry’s face. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah… I just thought...” 

“Thought what?” Louis arched his brow. Noah squirmed at the icy tone and Alex drank from his forgotten and almost empty glass of wine. 

The silence after that was chilling and Alex thought the night was going to end right there, but Harry cupped Louis’ face with his big hands. Thumbs gently caressing below his eyes, cheeks and lastly his lips. Louis opened his mouth, letting Harry dig one finger inside of it and then bit him. Hard. Harry hissed through the pain and Alex hoped it hurt. 

“Hey, don’t start without me.” Noah slurred from the bed as he laid on his back and clumsy opened his legs. “God, I think I might throw up.”

If that didn’t make them snap from their trance, nothing will. They were in their own little world and Alex wasn’t having it. Thing were different, Alex had learned new things about Louis, about what he liked it, how to lift him up, how to make him drop. However, he couldn’t do it while drunk, so he needed to stop everything in that moment.

“Louis, enough.” Alex said—no, he commanded. That made Louis blink away from Harry as the other boy frowned in confusion. “We all are drunk right now, it’s better if we do this tomorrow, when we're all alert.”

“I’m very alert.” Noah said with a leg up in the air.

“I—I think he’s right.” Harry rasped not looking away from Louis. “Are you okay to go with him?”

Alex wanted to scream. Why was Harry still playing games while his boyfriend was pissed in bed? That wasn’t one of their scenes, Alex said it was over, he should listen. He sees Louis nod and the lump in his throat subsides.

“Are you sure? You can stay here if you want. We can just cuddle.” Harry moves closer to Louis as Alex stands up. 

“I’m great giving cuddles, Lou, ask H.” Noah chirped. And that’s what breaks the spell. 

 

Louis frowns and step back from Harry. He doesn’t look like he regrets what they were about to do, but he did look a bit lost.

“I really think its better if we all go back to our respective rooms.” Alex grabs Louis’ hand. 

Harry’s eyes look frantic. “Are you sure? I can sleep on the floor if that makes you more comfortable. I won’t touch him, just—stay, please.” He was looking at Alex, but the plead was clearly for Louis. After not receiving any answers he continued. “At least wait until he’s down.”

That made Louis’ react. “I am, down…” Louis said in serious tone, squeezing Alex’s hand. “I don’t—if you only—we are leaving.” He began to drag Alex towards the door.

“No wait wait-” Harry said before Alex cut him off. 

“I think it's best if you leave this be for today.”

Harry clenched his jaw and stopped Alex. “Give him water and don’t leave his side until the morning.” He gritted out.

“Bye Lou, see you tomorrow Alex.” Noah waved them. Louis waved back.

Walking towards their room, Louis seemed a bit spaced out and Alex was slightly regretting his decision of leaving Harry’s room in the first place. Because if Harry was right and Louis for some reason went under while being in the bathroom or while Harry held him, Alex still was learning and didn’t fully know how to avoid an endorphin drop.

“Hey,” Alex stopped him before he could open the bedroom door. “Do you need me to… ground you?”

“No?” Louis furrowed his brows. “I’m fine, this is no—I just got a bit overwhelmed by everything.”

“I thought you wanted to do it.”

“I do? It was… You were right, we need to be sober for this.”

“I’m almost always right.” Alex dragged Louis to bed.

“Don’t push it, Turner.” Louis sat on Alex’s lap. “I like your mind,” He whispered after a few minutes of silence as he pushed away hair from Alex’s forehead. “It’s very unique. You’re not polite about what you want or what you don’t like. I’m glad you’re finally letting me know you.”

“You like that I’m selfish?”

“You’re not selfish. You just know what you want and aren’t afraid to be clear and loud about it. I’m still not really good at that, too afraid of hurt other people’s feelings, to let myself really go for it. Scared of rejection.”

“I’m scared of all of that.” Alex confessed. It was the first time he said that out loud but Louis was baring himself in front of him and the least he could do is do the same for him. “But there’s feelings, people, and moments that are worth all of that."

“I want to make you happy.”

“You already do that, gorgeous. I don’t need a confession of love because neither of us are there yet,” Alex half lied. “I just want you to feel as good as I feel when I’m with you.”

“I feel very good.” Louis smiled like the first ray of sunshine on a winter morning.

“Then… that’s all I need.”

\--

“Don’t take this in the wrong way, mate,” Niall said looking at Liam as a storm seemed to wreak havoc outside the villa. “But…. this is kinda all your fucking fault.” 

“Do I control the weather now?” Liam laughed as he threw a couch pillow at Niall.

“I mean…. If you think about it,” Louis said as he sipped from his iced coffee. “You were the one telling us to stay in yesterday, now these are the consequences of us listening to a straight man. Nothing good happens when you do that.”

“That makes it kinda our fault too for listening to him, right?” Noah giggled. 

“Harry,” Louis kicked Harry’s leg with his foot. “You have the worst taste in men, my sincere condolences.” 

Harry grabbed his ankle with a hand. “You sure about that?” His voice was playful, but low.

“Okaay,” Niall said from his seat, “I think it’s time for us to…” He trailed as he simulated a drumroll with his fingers and the coffee table. “...Play a boardgame!! I suggest monopoly.” He clapped the back of his hand as the rest groaned.

“The last time we play monopoly you stole all of the money and after we found out, you wanted to go to trial even though we found the money in your pockets.” Liam looked like a disgruntled puppy.

“I just needed things to go according to the law.” Niall said unbothered. “It was only fair.” He shrugged.

“And remember the other time when you made loans in the form of duties?” Louis said. Alex notices Harry was not only still holding his ankle, but now was rubbing circles at it.

“I did them all, I pay my debts.” Niall looked betrayed by Louis.

“You shrank all of my shirts, they look like crop tops now.”

“You love crop tops!”

“I know,” Louis smiled at Niall. “I wasn’t complaining, I just wanted to say out loud that I now have a lot of crop tops for free!”   
“This is why you’re my favorite.” Niall winked at Louis, at the same time Liam yelled. “It’s not free if you paid for them!” 

“Point is,” Niall said. “We all have made mistakes, Liam mostly, of course but, there’s nothing a good match of monopoly cannot fix.”

“I’m gonna need to be drunk for this.” Liam grunted before disappearing into the kitchen.

\--

“See? That was fun, right?” Niall said, stretching himself after almost three hours of playing the game.

“You fucking bit me, twice!” Liam said showing him his hand.

“Maybe if you didn’t try to steal from me…”

“You lost that money!”

“Did I tho? You could’ve lent me some for one round, Liam. That’s what friends do. Harry here, gave almost all of his income to Louis.”

“You did?” Noah said, betrayed. Alex head was pounding, he hated monopoly. 

“What can I say,” Louis shrugged, legs surrounded by tiny houses and hotels. “I’m a spender and Harry is pleased to invest in my pleasure.”

Harry choked on his drink as Niall laughs louder than the thunder outside. He then turned to Liam and pouted. “Why can't you be my sugar daddy?”

“Okay that’s it, time to sleep, for you. We need to pick Zayn up early anyway, so it’s better if we’re relaxed for that.” Liam said as he dragged Niall to his room.

Alex saw Harry’s demeanor do a sharp turn. From relaxed and flustered to stiff and cold. Louis didn’t hang out with Zayn a lot, but the few times they did and Alex was around, he could notice how much they loved each other. They had the type of friendship that no matter how much or how little they saw each other, it was like time stopped for them and continued as if no time had passed at all. Alex also noticed that from all the times they saw each other with or without the other boys, Harry was never there.

A vibration inside his pocket pulled him out of his thought.

He chuckled when he saw who texted him. “What’s going on?” Louis asked smiling. 

“It’s Miles, he wants to know what you asked for your green room. As in food, he plans to steal your food.”

Louis laughed. “Tell him I’m going to steal his.”

“Do you tour together?” Noah asked with shiny bewildered eyes.

“Sorta.” Louis said. “We sometimes have to assist to the same music festivals.”

“That’s so cool. You guy must have met a bunch of amazing musicians on the road.”

“That’s one of the best parts of music festivals, the sense of community. Bands and musicians supporting and cheering other bands and musicians backstage.”

“Is it?” Louis asked him playfully at the same time Noah said to Harry, “Why don’t you go to music festivals?”

“I don’t think his music quite… fit with the type of music festivals we go to.” Alex said nonchalant.

Harry tensed as Noah complained. “He plays rock music.” Noah crossed his arms. “He’s really great, he'd totally fit.”

“He’s messing with you.” Louis says quietly. 

“I am,” Alex says dismisedly. “We all know Harry here doesn’t want to feel the indie experience. He’s too bougie for that. Right Harry?”

“He isn’t.” “He went to the iHeart Festival.”

“What a rockstar.” Alex laughed, feeling a bit cruel. 

It wasn't Harry's fault big people in the industry eased his way to the top, Alex almost felt bad for him. He’d never know what it actually feels like to earn what you have, to bleed and suffer for it. The satisfaction when you finally reach your goal with a faint taste of oxide in your mouth. 

“Hey, nothing wrong with playing there.” Louis laughed. “I think, the important thing is to do what you love, no matter where. And always have in mind that we all are privileged enough to be paid for doing that.”

“That’d be sucking cock for me.” Noah said sprawled on the floor with dreamy eyes.

“I sadly love to do that for free.” Louis sighed.

Alex smiled amused, wondering how dumb Harry must be to not notice how similar those boys were, even in their sense of humor.

“Talking about sex stuff….” Noah said sitting up. “What the fuck happened last night? I mean not that I’m complaining, but was it just me or were we all about to bang?”

The room went quiet. 

“I—I guess?” Louis said.

“Fuck that’s so hot.” Noah whispered. Alex saw Louis relax and by proxy, Harry. “Are we gonna try again tonight or was it just a drunk thing? I’m fine with both.”

Part of Alex waited for Louis to look at him first, but the other part already knew he was going to check with Harry first. They both seemed at a loss of words anyway. Alex still felt the sexual tension needed to go.

“I’m okay with it if you guys are.”

“Oh” Louis whispered. “Um—okay?” He said not looking away from Harry.

“Only if you’re okay with it.” Harry replied only to Louis.

After a few minutes of just Harry and Louis having what seemed to be a telepathic conversation, Louis agree to continued what they started yesterday.

\--

Alex had the feeling that they should’ve talked more about it, but how do you talk about a foursome? It’s not a dance where you have to learn the choreography or follow orders. You just do what you want if the people besides you also want to. They just needed to feel good and enjoy themselves, and now with Louis on top of his lap kissing and biting his neck, all the boxes were being checked.

“I just… want to warn you that, I’ve never done something like this before so you're going to have to help me.” Noah said with flushed face as he sat on the bed. 

“Don’t worry me neither.” Alex reassured him as Louis unbuttoned his shirt. “Come here.” 

Scanning the room, Alex found Harry sitting in one of the couches, gaze focused where Louis’ mouth connected with his jaw. An intense urge to hide Louis from it filled his body, but he knew he much preferred Harry sitting there just looking, than touching and claiming Louis, at least for now. Alex suspected Harry thought the same, giving him a small advance so things could be leveled fairly. 

The idea of it for some reason annoyed Alex, but he tried to push it down, focusing only on the two beautiful boys in front of him. Fascinated and a bit unsettled by how the small differences they had, dimmed with the soft lights. 

“Can I kiss you?” Noah whispered shyly at Louis.   
Louis for his part and as reply softly batted his eyes and parted his lips, a clear invitation to have him all if Noah wanted. Noah was kissing him in matter of seconds, the kiss looked soft and tender, small whimpers coming from both the boys. Alex began to caress Louis' back up and down, loving the way his muscles loosened up after every caress. 

Harry’s calloused hand stopped his, as his mouth kissed Louis’ neck. “Let’s take off your clothes, baby.” He said as one arm slithered around Louis’ torso and the other helped him to take off his jumper. Alex wonders when he took off all his clothes, noticing how he was stark naked behind Louis. “Now your joggers, I wanna see all of you.” Harry smoothly pulled Louis away from Alex’s lap and laid him on the bed as he dragged his joggers down, taking his time to kiss and lick Louis’ smooth legs in the process.

Noah whimpers for attention, but Harry as expected, ignored him. Alex was aware if he kissed the boy now Harry would take advantage of that and would just probably start fucking Louis, completely forgetting about them. And what was the point in a fucking foursome if it was just two people fucking?

He slowly kissed Noah’s shoulder and neck instead. “Come on, let’s join them.” Alex said, pulling the boy closer where Louis was now on top of Harry, pinning him down and kissing him roughly. He saw how Louis began to lose himself in the sensation of Harry’s cock grinding in the crack of his ass, own erection painting Harry’s stomach with pre-cum. 

Alex unbelted his trousers as Noah kissed Louis’ back. Harry snapped his eyes at Noah, dark and narrowed.

‘Ridiculous.’ Alex thought.

“Darling…” Harry tried to get Noah’s attention with no avail. “Noah.” He tried again, hips coming to a halt and harsh voice, making Louis whimper on top of him. “It’s okay baby, I just need Noah to focus, it’s all okay.” He reassured Louis kissing his shoulders, hands still pinned down by the boy.

Noah furrowed his eyes. “I am focused?…”

Alex was weighting his possibilities; he could take the lube and condoms he just grabbed or call it a night. He knew Louis would listen to him right now, he wasn’t so far gone… yet.

But the picture he and Noah made was gorgeous and Alex was only human. He wanted to see more of that, more of Louis enjoying himself.

“Just… pass me the lube, please?”

That made Noah relax and smile at Harry. “I—sure.” He breathed out.

“Got it.” Alex said throwing the lube to Harry.

“Thanks.” Harry curtly replied eyes focused on Louis again. “Now that you have me down and at your mercy, I need you to open yourself for all of us.” He said kissing Louis’ arm. “Can you do that for me, petal?”

“Can I help?” Noah whispered.

“No. He needs to do it alone, the way he likes it. Right, lovely?”

Louis shook his head vigorously as he grabbed the lube with shaky hands. Noah pulled back a bit to give the boy enough space to insert one slicked finger inside of him, no teasing, straight to business. 

“Go slower, baby.” Harry moved one hand from his head to Louis’ arsecheeks. 

Louis bats Harry’s hand away, to then hold it tightly on top of his head. “N-not yet.” He gasped out, ragged breaths hitting Harry’s temple as he buried a second finger inside of him.

“Look at you, we are just starting and you’re already making the most beautiful sounds.” Harry said with rough tone.

The blankets under Alex felt harsh under his fingers. He took a moment to check on Noah to find a frozen boy. Fists on top of his thighs, a confused, but bewildered look on his face.

“Like that, do you? How everyone can’t stop looking at you, how beautiful you look opening yourself up.” Harry praised Louis before getting closer to his ear. “How they can look, but only I can touch.” He whispered the last part, but Alex heard it anyway. He easily detached one of his hands from Louis’ hold, fingers trailing down his spine. “Let me make you feel good, princess.”   
From where Alex was sitting, he could perfectly see how Harry carefully pushed the pad of his middle finger alongside Louis’, making the boy hiss of pleasure at the intrusion, thighs shaking. It took Louis a few seconds to recover before he continued moving his fingers in and out his slit, Harry following his movements with his.

“God, I wish we had a mirror so you could see how perfect we move together. Dream team and all that shit, yeah?”

“Sh—god yes—shut the fuck up.” Louis said in a breathless laugh. 

“I love when you laugh.” Harry said with an adoringly smile. 

And Alex felt that was his cue to do something, because the last thing they needed right now is Harry ruining a perfectly normal foursome with love confessions. Looking at Noah again it seemed as if the boy was about to say something, but caught himself loudly gasping. Alex quickly turned again to see Harry already lubing his cock with one hand, as the other scissored Louis with now two fingers inside of him.

After that, everything felt like a flash of moans, sweat and skin, before Alex could even say something, Harry was impaling himself inside Louis with a groan that sounded as if he was the one being split in half.

“Harry…” Noah tried to get the boy’s attention with no success as Harry rolled Louis under him, fucking him fast and mercilessly. He tried to get close to them, to touch Harry, but Alex already knew that’d be a bad decision to make, he only would get hurt more. Again, it was too late. “I can’t stay here just… looking.” He whispered to Alex with lust filled but deeply sad eyes.

“I know, they’d understand if you don’t want to stay.”

“I doubt they’d even care.” Noah said getting up from the bed and grabbing his clothes. “I don’t know if you’re used to this, but I’m not and I don’t really know if I want to get used…” He said before leaving the room.

The situation was completely ridiculous and this time everyone was at least a bit guilty of what was happening, everyone but Noah. 

Alex took a deep breath before speaking, he knew Louis wouldn’t be able to fully listen to him and that the only way of him to come back was if Harry coaxed him “We need to make some new ground rules.” He said with cold and stern tone. This made Harry slightly falter in his movements. “This? This can’t happen again. We aren’t props, so you need to stop this ‘I’m gonna fuck the shit out of Louis while the other two morons who mind you, I invited, just watch’”.

Alex saw Harry give another deep thrust into a whimpering Louis as he directly looked at Alex. 

“You’re unbelievable.” He shook his head and walked out of the room.

\--

“There you are…” Exhaled Alex the moment he saw Noah sitting, facing the beach.

“I can’t believe I was this dumb….” Noah said absently looking at the ocean. 

“You aren’t dumb, they’re just... like that.” Alex didn’t know if in that moment he was trying to reassure Noah or himself.

“No, I—I just… I thought Harry was in love with someone else.”

“Oh…”

“And like… the person I thought he was in love with… is kinda cute? And kinda charming? In a very… unique way… to not say… it’s not what you would first call… beautiful. And—no, I know, don’t look me like that, I know it sounds cruel, but...” he trailed with a rueful chuckle. “I guess I’m feeling a bit cruel right now.” 

“It’s okay, I’m not gonna judge.”

“Well… I just, I don’t know… I’ve seen them interact—him and the guy I thought Harry was in love with— and… they looked friendly, but nothing more and I for some stupid reason I thought I had a chance.”

“I think you do.”

Noah chuckled again before sipping from his glass. “I’m gonna tell you this not because I’m feeling cruel, but because I want to be honest. Harry isn't ever gonna leave Louis, he’s the sun of Harry’s life while he’s just the earth going in circles around him. He's always going to need him, even if Louis decides to run or leave, even if Louis never really needs him as much as Harry does. Because, he’s the sun, right? The sun doesn’t need anybody.” He looked up at Alex with sad eyes. “Not even you.”

Alex let out a throaty laugh. He understood why he believed that, but Noah didn’t know that Harry had the chance to do something, yet by his own choice, never did. There’s nothing special or poetic about cowardness. Although he could accept, that Harry did treat Louis as something sacred, not only in the intimacy of his room, but also in every aspect of his life. He followed a very ‘Louis Ergo Sum’ lifestyle. ‘But don’t we all?’ 

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, nothing, what you said was really pretty but… things aren’t as complicated as you made them seem. Louis isn’t the sun, Harry is not the earth, I…” Alex chuckled as he grabbed Noah’s glass and took a big sip from it. “Certainly am not a random planet. We are just people who like and maybe love each other. And while love might be a bit complicated, Louis isn’t. He… he just cares and loves, freely, deeply and easily.” He shrugged. “And of course everyone wants that type of people as close to them as they let you be. And Louis allows you to get closer and closer.. until you hurt him. He doesn’t run away, he just takes care of himself.”

“A smart man.”

“Very.”

“I love him,” Noah murmured so quietly, the crash of the waves almost swallowed his words. “It was stupid of me, I know, because he always has been honest and upfront. This was supposed to be just a fun thing to do on my break, something that I'd tell my children in the future while trying to look cool. How I got to be with a famous rockstar.” His smile was sad and his eyes glossy. He took a deep breath. “When he’s with Louis, even his laugh is gentle… How come I didn’t notice that?"

Alex wouldn’t let his guilt eat him whole, even when he felt a big part of the reason why Noah was in this situation to begin with was because of him. He refused to sit and dwell in what ifs, he wasn’t responsible of Harry’s actions, he was the one who didn’t choose Louis, he was the one who let him go, he also was the one picking a slightly rougher and older version of Louis to find a bit of peace.

Was that fair for Noah? Not at all. The biggest victim of all their mistakes was the man in front of him, but at the same time, Alex was sure, he at some degree should’ve been aware of how emotionally unavailable Harry was. None of them were kids, all of them were smart enough to know the situation, to understand it.

But they still had a small chance. If they did this right, of course.

“I think you should fight for him.”

“I just told you I don’t stand a chance.” Noah rolled his eyes at him.

“Louis told me Harry was starting to fall in love with you.” Alex half lied, because at the end, Louis did tell him that, he was just omitting the part where Harry told him otherwise.

If his life were a movie, Alex would probably be portrayed as the villain but he was sure almost every human in his position would fight for what they loved. Because love doesn’t knock at your door, it just smacks you in the face when you least expect it and sometimes it makes you do wild stuff for the right person.

“I’m not saying he’s in love, but I’m also not saying he isn’t interested in you. I genuinely think, if there’s someone who can make him forget about Louis, it'd be you.” Alex said honestly. He saw the little looks, the way he swayed at Noah just like he used with Louis. It wasn’t love, but it could be. And if Noah gave up, they both could lose a lot. “I think you should give yourself a chance.”

Noah snorted. “You just want me to keep trying so he can stop fucking around Louis.”

“Well… yeah.” Alex tilted his head giving Noah an easy smile. "I thought I made that clear since the beginning.”

Noah’s eyes sparkled for the first time that night as he laughed. “Okay, let’s give this a chance. But I really don’t know what to do.”

“In my eyes, Harry has many flaws, but there’s one that can help you a lot now.”

“Which is…” 

“He’s a jealous asshole.”


End file.
